If I see one more pelican covered in oil…

If I see Anderson Cooper in one more tight black t-shirt (though he does look cute as a button!)…

If I see one more sad story…

I will fall so deep into a pit of despair…

Well, not that deep.  I am too much of an optimist to go to far down.  But, I sure have been getting my toes wet.

The challenge with all of this news is that there is so much information out there that I can’t do anything about.  Yes, I have signed a bunch of petitions.  Yes, I have written my congressman.  Yes, I have thought of going down there to help with the clean up… Yes, I have done tapping for the gulf…meditations for the gulf…all of that stuff.

And the sad news just keeps coming.

So, what do we do with all of this?  What do we do with the tragedy’s that are happening over there and still be present with our lives over here?  Can we hold sadness for that while appreciating and loving this?

In the history of this planet…we have never seen so much information at our fingertips…in the air…surrounding us.  We just can’t take it all in.  I am not sure if we are meant to…I am thinkin we are not.

Maybe we have to become very good sifters.  Sifters of our reality.  Sifters of information.  What do we want to take in…what do we want to leave out?  Were do we want to focus our energy?  What changes do we want to be a part of?  Where does our inspiration land?

I know some folks who are taking action to help in the gulf…physically being present down there.  That is not what resonates for me.  I am working with some clients who live down there to help them with what is going on…with how there lives have changed over night.  That kind of support does resonate with me.

We all have our ways of contributing.  Some are small…some are big.

And for some of us we can have conversations and share ideas.  Some of us can’t even talk about these sorts of things.

So where ever you are with all of this information I offer you the idea of becoming an excellent sifter.  Taking in what you can and leaving out what you can’t.  Doing those actions that inspire and leaving the ones that don’t (they will be inspiring to someone else).  And when the news gets too overwhelming…and even before you reach that point…turn it off and focus your attention on something that soothes your heart.

And for those of you who still like to know what is going on in the world but want a more uplifting focus, I have listed some good news sites.  These are only a few…there are tons more where these came from

good news network

Ode Magazine

positive news

Good news daily

Happy news

Positive economic news

Okie dokie…that’ll do it!

Peace~

]]> http://lynnemorrell.com/2010/07/cnn-you-are-bummin-me-out/feed/ 3 http://lynnemorrell.com/2010/06/calling-a-spade-and-spade/ http://lynnemorrell.com/2010/06/calling-a-spade-and-spade/#comments Tue, 29 Jun 2010 17:43:11 +0000 Lynne Morrell http://lynnemorrell.com/?p=697 It has always been a wee bit challenging for me to call a spade a spade.  Unless, of course if the spade wants to be a spade…then I am totally on board. But, if the spade wants to be a heart or a diamond or a club…I can completely go there.

There are several factors that have contributed to this little mind set of mine.  One  stems from the way I was raised.  Yep, blame it on childhood!!!  I lived in a home where a spade was NOT a spade but something else completely. And ya better not point out that it was really a spade cuz then you would be in deep doo-doo!

Another factor is that I am such an optimist/magical thinker/naive babe-a-roo.    I have always been this way.  If someone tells me that it is not a spade but a heart…I believe em. Not always….but often enough!  I just figure they know what they know and I am probably miss informed.  Or that maybe it is a spade and they see it as a heart and we can agree to disagree!

The other part of this is that for some reason calling a spade a spade has become a sort of negative thing.  Sorta like it’s not okay to call a pile of shit…a pile of shit.  Sometimes people want to throw glitter on it and call it an art project!  Sorry to be so crass here….but it makes my point so clearly!

I made the uncomfortable decision some months ago of ending a relationship due to pretty intense spade behaviors.  A very difficult decision for someone like me.  I tend to continue to throw glitter at things trying to reframe the hell out em so that they can work.  Or so that I can be more supportive…or a “good friend”…or or or…on and on it goes…name your poison!

But, finally one morning I woke up…and said “Hey that ain’t pretty…that is rotten.  And I don’t want to be around rotten.”

There were no reframes left.  There was only a pit of bad feelings in my stomach that I had tried to cover up for a long long long time.  So, I called the spade a spade.  And shockingly…the world did not end!  Another shock was that my fella and some other friends of mine had known the spade was a spade the whole time!

Okay…so not only am I an optimist/magical thinker and naive babe-a-r00….I am also not the sharpest tool in the shed!!!

Another surprise to me  happened after walking away from this is that things started to clear up.  Things that had been feeling vague and unclear…became crystal clear.  My ability to decipher my internal “yes” and “no” became more fluid. I saw the whole deck of cards…clearly without any of the suits super imposing themselves on each other.

How is that for some metaphorical languaging!!! 

Another way to put this is that I had taken some of my values too far.  I have strong values around relationships and loyalty.  I was focusing so much energy on being loyal to this friend and I simultaneously disconnecting from being loyal to myself.  The minute I reconnected with “loyalty to my Self” things became clear.

Interesting!

So my dear readers….I have a some questions for you to ponder:

What spades are easy for you to call?

What spades do you call hearts to make peace?

What is the one big spade that you have been avoiding?

What is the benefit of avoiding this spade?

What is the bummer of avoiding this spade?

If you were free to call this spade a spade…how would your life change?

Okie dokie artichokie’s….let me know how this goes:)

Feel free to share if inspired

Have a full deck kind of week!!!!!

To get some help with this daunting question…I decided to consult with one of my oracles…my magic 8 ball:

Me:  Magic 8 Ball…can I find a definition for healing that works for everyone?

Magic 8 Ball:  “cannot predict now”

Me:  Hmmmm…fine.  Magic 8 Ball…What is healing anyway?

Magic 8 Ball:  “Ask me later”

Me:  Magic 8 Ball…you are really not helping here.  Can you help me with this at all?

Magic 8 Ball:  “No”

I realized that my Magic 8 Ball was having trouble with this topic too.  So I asked my Inspiration Magic 8 Ball (you know the one…it’s yellow with a big smiley face on it!)

Me:  Can I find a definition for healing that works for everyone?

Inspirational Magic 8 Ball:  “People Like You”

Me:  Well, Magic 8 Ball that doesn’t really answer my question!  Can you stick to the question at hand?

Inspirational Magic 8 Ball:  “You Smell nice”

I wasn’t getting far consulting the great Magic 8 Ball oracles.  The problem with these oracles is that when consulting them the questions have to be stated in a black and white sort of way.   We can’t get to the answer that way.  We can’t even really have a conversation from this “yes/no” model.

Though I think knowing that I smell nice helps!

So maybe I am jumpin ahead a little bit…maybe a better place to start is to chat about times when we think healing has occurred and what was used to assist in that process.

Well, when my boys were little and they got scrapes and bumps, they always felt better when I gave them kisses, hugs, and a nice story while sitting on my lap.   These types of things also helped when they felt really sick..I would get them all snuggled in with books and toys and their favorite flavor of popsicle.

Did they still have symptoms?

Yep.

Did they feel better?

Yep.

Was healing happening?

I can’t know for sure…but, I am gonna say “yep” to that question as well.  They were soothed.  They were fairly comfortable.  There minds were relaxed and they were open to receiving my love and nurturing. AND when I had to move away to do this and that…they were able to continue to nurture themselves.  Good stuff!

Here is another example.  One that is on the opposite extreme…or is it?

My best friend contracted AIDS when we were in our mid 20′s. She was one of the first women to get this diagnosis in the San Francisco Bay Area.  This was at the time when folks were thinking this was a “gay disease.”  Guess not!  Needless to say….ignorance was rampant!

My amazing friend decided that she wanted to make a contribution to the community.  She began speaking on panels that focused on AIDS education.

After her first panel, she called me up and told me that she felt so uplifted to be part of educating folks.  Many people had come up to her asking her all sorts of questions.  She felt very good about offering this kind of support.  She felt like she was contributing to the “cure” for this disease through the education of the masses.

Was this a healing experience for her?

You betcha!

Was her illness still front and center?

Yep!

That year was filled with many ups and downs.  It was the first time I had the honor of supporting a loved one through the process of death.  We had some amazing conversations about death and what that meant.  We talked about times when we had hurt each other and made peace with these memories.  We talked about all sorts of things.

Was there healing going on during these experiences?

It sure felt like it!

Was she still really sick?

Yes.

Was I grieving the loosing of this brilliant friend?

Yep.

Was she still Ill?

Yes.

Was I still resisting her illness?????

Hell Yes!!!!!   Until her last breath…I held to the hope that she could still find a cure that would work for her.  She did too.

I had the honor of being with her when she died.  I witnessed her spirit leaving her body.  I witnessed the deepest loss and the most grace in one moment…it took my breath away.  I began to understand what the word “bittersweet” meant.

Was her death a healing experience for her?

I don’t know.

I am thinking it was.

Who can say that death is not healing?

Was it a healing experience for me?

Not at the time.  At the time it ripped me wide open…and it shut me right down.  Talk about polarities.  Later I was able to heal from this grief…meaning when I think of her my heart no longer hurts…my heart feels soft, strong and open…tuned into love for her.

So far I have shared two seemingly different experiences.  Both of them filled with healing.  But, the outcomes were very different from each other.

Here is something to ponder~  When did we start thinking that illness, disease, injury and decay were somehow due to wrong thinking?

Think about where this comes from.

Way back when…there were a group of folks who believed that God was showing his approval of them by “making” them wealthy and healthy.  Wealth, success and good health were seen a gifts from God because that person was a good person.  God showed disapproval towards folks by “making” them poor and sick.  Those people were bad people.  Everyone could easily see who God approved of and who he didn’t approve of.  So neat and tidy!!

Who were these people?  The Calvinists.

I guess we have not come very far from that sort of thinking…but, now instead of a cultural belief that says God is showing approval or disapproval…we have turned it around on our selves.  I have actually heard in the recent past someone saying that if the person could just change their thoughts…they would “get better.”  I am guessing they are meaning that the person would stop having symptoms.

Polarity alert!  We do feel better when we think softer thoughts.  When we can tune into places where we feel soothed.  When we can tune into positive expectations.  But, there is a fine line here…

I have even heard people say that some people are still ill because they want to be.  Hmmmmmmm….so, now we are blaming the person?

I want to say here that I believe that healing looks like a lot of things.

Let me repeat that.

Healing looks like a lot of things.

I want to bring up one more point.  Think of our world.  Of our global eco system.  Here in Colorado we have a bunch of beetles munching away on the pine trees.  Those pine trees are dying…soon they will be gone.  Is this because the trees are thinking wrong thoughts?  I just don’t think so.  It is part of global system…the natural checks and balances system.  Some things die off so that the new can come in.  There are seasons…plants and trees loose their leaves in the fall, go dormant in the winter and come back refreshed and renewed in the spring.

There are natural rhythms, there are seasons, there is birth and life…there is decay and death.  When there is illness or decay or death that does not mean something is inherently wrong with the system!

Okay….one more time…Healing looks like a lot of different things.

This conversation is not done.  There is so much more to explore.  I would love to hear your thoughts about this tender topic~

Last night, I went with a friend of mine to see Debbie Ford.  I have read a few of her books and LOVE her work…she is all about the shadow.

What is the shadow?

Well, think of a person that drives you nuts…or better yet…pisses you off…or even better better yet…someone you hate!  Now, think about what you hate about that person…what are the traits that this person has that rubs you the wrong way.  It is not about the behaviors…it is about the traits. For example: let’s say that the person you are thinking of (the one who makes you want to scream!) is ALWAYS late.  Being late is a behavior.  What is the trait behind being late?

Selfish?

Indulgant?

Flacky?

Okay.  So now that you have thought of a trait…or a string of them...you have nicely landed in YOUR shadow selves!  AIn’t that just the best????  Uh, ya…no.

Here is another concept to wrap your brain around.  The theory is that we are all everything.  We are good and evil.  We are kind and mean.  We are responsible and flacky.  We are selfless…and selfish.  We are weak and strong. We are all of it.  The problem is we have made these aspects of ourselves wrong…or bad.  Actually, other people made these aspects of our nature wrong…and then we took over where they left off.

Think of what parents say to their kids: “Don’t be mean!” “Don’t be selfish!” Don’t be greedy!”  “Don’t be rude!”  on and on and on…

We learn to repress these parts of ourselves.  The more we try and push them down…the funkier every thing gets.  And because the Universe has an amazingly twisted sense of humor…we get to be face to face with all of these repressed parts of ourselves…when we go out into the world…or stay home with our families…or when we meet with friends…or when we talk to our mothers…or..or..or~  You know that you have landed in a shadow aspect of yourself…when you have a strong negative reaction to someone else.  Those folks are mirroring your shadow.

Are we having fun yet???

I read Debbie Ford’s book “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers” a handful of years ago.  And at that time, I had a few people in my life that triggered me (my mom, a friend of mine who was ALWAYS late, and some of the teachers at the school that I worked at).  But, nothing huge.  More like irritations rather than “pissed off.”

Until….(drum roll please) Bush showed up in office.  Ohmygodddddddddd!  Just looking at the guy would make me so mad…I would want to throw things at the TV!  There were times when I hated this man and his cronies.  Especially when we went into Irag.  That almost pushed me over the edge.

During this time, I decided to read this book again…I could feel that Bushy Boy was really stirring something up within me.  Uh…ya think????  Soon, I was face to face with a bunch of shadow gunk…Bush represented all the things that I hated about myself.  Every single stinkin one of them.

He was a fool (check!).

He was arrogant (check check).

He was a liar (yep!  me too!  That sucks!).

He was disrespectful (oh, ouch!  me too).

He was narrow minded (ok. This one might have hurt the most…me to…damn!).

He was my walking, living, breathing shadow dude…no wonder his presidency was so exhausting for me!

Towards the end of his term I could tell that I had more compassion for these parts of myself because…I didn’t hate him anymore…I just felt sorry for him.

The shadow has been playing out in a big way in the world.  Debbie said something last night that really rung true…she said that we are projecting all of these shadow parts onto the middle east.

I totally agree.

So, the next time someone scares you, or pisses you off, or you think someone is mean, or flaky or selfish or greedy…or whatever your personal unfavorite is…say “howdy” to your shadow!

Tomorrow I will talk about the light side…we have both:)

Stay tuned

Good morning gorgeous readers!

Recently, I received my first ever, astrological reading.  I had never been able to have one before because I didn’t know my time of birth.  Out of the blue, my mom sent me my birth certificate…and TA DA…there it was!  Time of birth.  (I am adopted so these sorts of details tend to mean something to me…like "Oh, Wow!  I really do exist!"  or "Look at that…something about my birth!") 

It is a strange thing to not know my history.  I have been looking for it for a long time…now, I just sort of make it up:)  Always a fun thing to do:)

Anyway, back to the astrological reading…

I had asked to look at three areas of my life and we focused mainly on one.  My health! 
I must say that I was sorta nervous about this whole thing.  I was secretly afraid that the astrologer would see some sort of proof that I had done something wrong in a past life and this health issue was my punishment. 

Where the hell did I get that sort of thinking?  Since I LOVE to blame the nuns and priests that were my prison guards when I went to Catholic school for a million years…the fault must lie there!  Its gotta…I mean come on!!!!!!! 

As the astrologer looked at my planets and such…turns out that I am not being punished for some horrible sin after all!  Some planet landed on top of some other planet which caused something…the result… a health issue.  Ta Da!!!!!  All neat and tidy!  She was able to "see" when it came back and what years it was really bad (this was very accurate) and best news of all….it is gonna take a hike come 2009. 

Well, actually…when I heard that, I almost started crying.  2009?  I have to live like this until 2009?  Now way!  I can’t do it!  Where is that damned bridge to jump off of when ya need it!!!!?????

As I sat with this information for a bit…it felt softer and more interesting.  I do think that I have a say in everything…so, maybe…just maybe…I can get this little sucker to take a hike even sooner!  The other aspect that was soothing was that all of a sudden I felt a deep sense of relief that I wasn’t to blame.  I didn’t DO anything wrong! It was the alignment of the stars that fucked me up!  I could blame the stars instead of myself!  Wow!  That feels better.

Now remember…the feeling of "blame" is moving up the emotional scale.  Blame certainly feels better than despair!  Way better!  But, self blame…yikes!  That will head ya back down into despair pretty damned fast.  So, I went from secretly blaming myself to blaming the stars!

I have worked with hundreds of folks over the years on issues concerning the body. Whether the focus is on weight or eating disorders of illness of some form,  it seems that there is a common thread with this tendency for humans to land in self blame. 

"What did I DO to cause this?"

This is a tricky place to land.  On the one hand…if you can figure out what "you did" to cause the problem…you can stop doing that!  On the other hand this line of thinking can really turn on ya…because most times, its isn’t about something you did or didn’t do…it isn’t about the thoughts you thought or didn’t think…it isn’t about the feelings you felt or didn’t feel.  These issues just aren’t that straight forward. 

The bottom line is that where ever you stand with your body…be aware of what you are telling yourself…be aware of your story line.  From there you can move into new thoughts.  If you are stuck in self blame…blame someone or something else.  Blame the stars and the moon…blame the nuns and the priests…blame the doctors. 

When you notice that you are feeling abit lighter…

move from blame into thoughts that feel like worry…

from there move to thoughts that inspire disappointment…

if you feel like moving past disappointment..think thoughts that inspire frustration. 

Now that you are in frustration…notice the journey that you just took.  You moved from self blame all the way up to frustration.  Doesn’t that feel better? 

Ah…the life giving breath of frustration!!!

If you want to move out of frustration…go ahead and reach for the next best feeling thought.  Maybe its a thought that elicits boredom.  Boredom of the whole damned thing! 

Now you are on your way to feeling better and better.

The trick to all of this is NOTICE what you are feeling.  NOTICE what you are telling yourself.  From there you can take action and move on up the emotional scale.  Take it easy though…if you start feeling icky again…you tried to move to fast and far. 

Whatever you decide….if you are in any state of self blame…get the hell out as fast as ya can.  Cuz all of that is just gonna bring ya down!

So, here are some questions to pose to yourself:

• What do I tend to blame myself for?
• When am I vulnerable to self blame?
• Whose voice is this?

Once you have your bearings a bit…reach for the next best feeling thought~

No matter what you do…be as kind to yourself as possible!

Peace~