This weekend, my fella and I watched the movie "Wyatt Earp". I had no idea how long this movie was gonna last…or I would have never watched it. It lasted about 4 billion hours.
The movie was a traditional sorta shoot em up, ‘we are dudes and bad ass’ kinda cowboy movie. The writers did explore some interesting women, though they were always in the role of supporting the men. I did enjoy the sets and the beautiful costumes!
The character, Wyatt Earp became one of the Marshall’s in Dodge City…which was a very rough place to hang out in! I realize that this character was seen as a heroic figure. Him and his men curbed much of the violence that was happening…for a brief time. I think the women were way more heroic then he was…though that is a different blog!
To me this movie depicted Wyatt as a shut down, emotionally fragile fella who was a bit trigger happy and shot people when "theys wouldn’t folla the law!" Most of the time he was very black and white in his thinkin’. "Yous not to carry weapons in this town!" If the dude refused to give up his gun….BAM he was shot! Never give a fragile fella a gun…thats my motto!
One thing that he said stayed with me though.
He said that some folks were deliberate and some folks were affable. Now the deliberate dudes, like Wyatt, just shot people immediately without "wastin’ time on talkin!’" They were not real liked by them towns folks! Whereas the affable dudes talked and got along well with people. Almost every one of these guys was killed by the end of the movie.
Well this got me thinkin!
(Sorry I can’t stop writin’ without a southern cowboy sorta drawl!!!)
Anyways, as I was sayin’…this got me thinkin’…I know many folks who are very deliberate and many who are affable. Some are a mix of both. Now, the folks I know that are deliberate…really do shoot first and ask questions later. They decide on things and go for it. When they want something…they focus and make it happen! Anybody who gets in their way of what they want…better watch out! They get mad at folks and let it rip.
As for the affable folks, they tend to have better people skills, finding a common ground is very important to them and they are more interested in the relationship with others, then gettin’ their way. As you probably can tell…I am definitely more on affable side.
So, if I had been in this movie I would be dead! Friendly, well liked…but, dead!!!!
So, what I’m thinkin’ here is this…don’t we want to be a bit of both? I mean, even on a political scale…isn’t Bushy boy just shootin at the hips…being deliberate…"Yous guys either with me or yous guys are against me!" Not affable at all! Actually, the man has no skill as a statesman whatsoever!
In this culture we really think deliberate is heroic. Shoot now and talk later! Or go for the big bucks…doesn’t matter who you plow over to get what you want. I don’t think this mind set is very heroic at all! I think we need to be more than that. I think it is about blending the two…deliberate and affable…along with the addition of many other skills!
I realize that at this point in my life, I am definitely working to learn how to be more deliberate. I like the idea of being a focused creator…though I am not very interested in mowin folks down to get my way. My mind just doesn’t work that way. For me, it is about becoming more deliberate in my actions…when I have an idea, I tend to over think things and then I sorta run out of steam. My intention is to spend less time thinking over and over again about an idea and take more swift, clear action. As for being affable…that comes naturally to me. That will be there no matter what I do!
So, how about you?
What is your tendency…do you lean towards deliberate or towards affable?
If you were to consider strengthening the less dominate of the two…how would you go about that?
When you move through the world, what actions do you perceive as heroic?
Do you ever see yourself as heroic? If so, what occurred to make you feel this way?
I would love to hear your thoughts about this.
Have a fabulously deliberate and affable day!
August 7th, 2007
Oh, no, my head hurts! Is charming but focused both affable and deliberate, or is that something all together different? I don’t know what I am!
I DO see myself as heroic…but as an outlaw hero. I always have and I can’t say why. I just resonate with the vibration of outlaws who have their own sense of honor…like pirates or rogue spies or a warrior woman with a broadsword strapped to her back. Never part of the established order. To some, this might not be heroic at all.
As to which side is more dominate within me, I can’t say. Perhaps I need to know more about how others perceive me?
August 13th, 2007
How FUN! I’m incredibly affable but when I get pushed to the end of my patience–ooh, am I ever deliberate. My husband always wanted me to have a gun in the house “for protection.” I always said I wouldn’t consider it because I didn’t believe in weapons of minor destruction, either (well, I said it a little differently back then but it’s the same basic thing). What I discovered at some point was that, while everything I had said was true, I also didn’t want a gun in the house because if someone ever broke in and even thought about harming the people I love, I’d shoot first and ask questions later. How’s that for deliberate?
I love my affable side and mostly don’t care much for the deliberate side. I’d like to be a little less affable when people are asking me to do things I don’t really want to do.
Heroic actions–three kids are hanging around–the big one is picking on one of the little ones–the other little one tells him that’s not nice and to stop it–that’s heroic.
The 9-yr-old kid who, when his dad passed out in their 18-wheeler with not one, but two, trailers loaded with lumber, got in the driver’s seat with his dad and managed to pull it over to the side of the road and stop it! “I watched how my dad did it and just did that.”
The woman who figures out how to learn about and develop more self-esteem while she’s in prison.
The person who is grateful to be alive while facing semi- or totally debilitating conditions.
Those people are heroic. We’re all heroic. We all do those kinds of things and tons of other things, too (cooking dinner when we have a headache and want to sit quietly with a cool cloth on our eyes).
Ooh, I just thought of my best one–being authentic when the people around us want anything but that.
Enough! I could go on but I’ll let others comment. Oh, and I really LOVE this one, Lynne!
August 14th, 2007
fun comment Cynthia! You are so right on about everyone being hero’s in their lives. Love It!!!!! Great story about the kid who pulls the semi over when his dad passed out…very cool indeed!
August 18th, 2007
What an entertaining (that cowboy drawl) and thought provoking read. Love the way you can take a movie you watched for love of your “guy” (a movie that bored you to death) and then “affably” and “deliberately”, apply it to both world politics and personal lives!
Yes, George W. certainly shoots first, but I wonder if he thinks about it later?
I am definately a blend of both affable and deliberate–
don’t know how effective of a blend. I can be affable as can be in a conversation, then suddenly “shoot” advice from the hip. Oops–always working on that one.
Also, can be very deliberate and focus towards a goal than easily “affably” set the goal aside for the needs of others.
As for heros–I think true heroes are often never heard about or seen– people who continue on each day in spite of enormous adversity.
Thanks Lynne for a fun read and a good think!
August 20th, 2007
Hi there Kerry~ Glad you liked the post. Its so not like me to do the cowboy thing…but sometimes ya gotta do whatcha gotta do! I so agree with what you said about hero’s…I do believe we all are heros in our lives! You…being one of em’!