Hi there!

I had all of these blog post ideas yesterday and absolutely no energy to finish them. I even posted one that was half written, by accident…don’t know how that happened. Anyway, if you read it…sorry ’bout that. I am sure that it made no sense at all!

Since my surgery, I have been progressively feeling stronger and more energized…but yesterday….NOT! I hit an energetic wall. My doctor had mentioned this would happen during the next handful of months. But, because I am who I am…I thought: "Nah! Not me!!!!" Well…guess I was WRONG!!! I spent the whole day on the couch watching movies.

While I was on the couch watching movies, my youngest was busy packing for a trip. He tried this trip a few weeks ago, but since it was still snowing in the Rocky’s, he turned around and came back home. Now, that the weather is warmer, he is heading out again. You see, he is heading out on his bike…ALONE…over the Rocky’s…his destination? Northern Arizona.

Did I mention that he was heading out ALONE????? ON HIS BIKE????? Riding over the ROCKY MOUNTAINS???? ALONE!!!!!!! When, I woke up this morning, he had already left. When he hugged me last night, he said that he was going to take off early. My story is that he left before I woke up so he wouldn’t have to see me crying again!!!

His joke this last few days has been: "Hey mom, wanna play backgammon? …cuz this might be the last time we get to play together!"


I don’t know about you…but, I have an amazing ability to embellish what might happen to my kids out in the world. I can imagine my son being mugged, eaten by bears and attacked by mountain lions. So, this fabulous imagination of mine is creating a lot of internal stress. These bizarre fantasies aren’t even real and I am feeling stress! What this means, my dear reader…is that stress is an equal opportunity employer! It does not matter if it is "real" or not, both affect the body.

Try this for a moment:

Close your eyes.

Oops…I mean read this first and then do it with your eyes closed:)

Imagine that you have a lemon in your hands. This is a lemon that has been cut in half. Smell the lemon. Now imagine getting ready to taste the lemon. What happens?

You begin to salivate.

This imagined lemon…made you salivate.

How is that possible?

Well, our minds do not know the difference between "fantasy" and "reality." We can imagine something to be fun or stressful…our bodies will respond accordingly. Our bodies and emotions respond to what we are thinking. What this means is that we can believe anything we want and it will become our experience.

Now, try not to be too literal here.

I am not meaning that if I imagine my boy being eaten by a bear…that I will MAKE that happen. That is NOT what I mean. I can not manifest in my boys experience. If I imagine him being eaten by a bear…I will feel stressed out and have an upsetting time. These thoughts can increase my heart rate…drain my body and put me in a pretty freaked out head space. So, these kind of thoughts affect my experience.

Remember that a belief is only a habit of thinking. If you think of something for long enough, you begin to find "proof" that it is true (we always want to be right!)…and pretty soon…you got yourself a nice and shiny, new belief!

ALL beliefs are formed in this way~

So, I can imagine my boy on a great adventure…or I can imagine him being eaten by a bear. One feels good. One does not. Both are stories made up by me. Neither one has much to do with what he will actually experience….because I can not jump into his experience! And for some reason, the imagined dangers seem more real when I am tired. For some reason, my beliefs circle around the idea that he would be more safe if he just stayed home and went to college!

Then, there are the times when I can understand his need to fly free…he comes from me. I am a gypsy. A blond haired, blue eyed gypsy. I have it in my blood. So does he. He has always loved moving and going to new places. So do I!

The bottom line is that I can focus on the belief that he is following his own desires that have NOTHING to do with ME…or I can see this journey as something else. I can plug in anything I want to…or don’t want to. It is up to me.

So dear reader….

What is one belief that you hold towards someone you love, that is stressing you out?

Can you replace this belief with something more life affirming?

If you can, try and find some proof to back the new thought up. An example of this would be me looking for thoughts that "prove" that this is an adventure for my boy…I can find lots of thoughts that support this. If I stay here, for a handful of moments…I can feel the stress leaving my body and soon I can feel my emotions shifting…pretty soon I can feel some peace about his journey. If I stay here long enough, I might even be able to feel some excitement for what he is doing…maybe….maybe not.

Notice when your need to be right comes in.

Notice if you need to be the "I told you so" kind of person.

We get to choose how we interpret all of our experiences…as well as how we interpret other people, and their experiences.

As for me….I can imagine my boy, wind blowin’ through his hair…the freedom he feels on his bike…the strength that he feels as he rides for miles.

There continues to be a bear in the back of my mind.

...hanging out

…waiting for me to animate her.

For now, I am going to stay with the freedom of the ride.

2 Responses to ““That is a lovely belief that you are wearing!””

  1. Wow what an adventure your son is going on! (And what an adventure for Mom!) What a gutsy kid, who seems to be living his life to the fullest. Hope we get to read about some of his adventures.

    I just love the “belief system” concepts you’re writing about. Had a big personal experience with it this past week. An old and painful belief system came stomping in my mind’s front door (by way of a letter). I was immersed in my familiar thoughts about the contents of this letter and all it represented, who it came from and what it said about me, what this person (and people related to this person) think about me. Tons of past “ouchy” memories and feelings swam around in my tummy and my head. I was bogged down in it all. Then…

    My hubby read the letter. At first his “old belief system” marched in and he was angry. Then all of a sudden, my guy, took us into a completely different set of thoughts and feelings. “What if this is where the person is coming from?” We looked through this new perspective and WOW, was it freeing. We looked at the past through this perspective, and felt the “ouch”, but then an acceptance of the “ouch”… just letting it be. We looked at the future through this perspective and felt the possibility of a peaceful way to approach what the future may bring.

    We created a new “belief system” about this situation that has caused pain for years. It is hard to express the weight that has floated off my chest…the tough thoughts that have fluttered out of my head. The peace in the belief that I will be able to handle what the future may hold…future letters, meetings, life events.

    I appreciate so much what you are sharing Lynne– about our “belief systems”– how they effect us and how we can alter them. It is working. I know it won’t be easy, but it is working.

  2. Thanks for your comment Kerry.
    Isn’t it interesting with a soft shift of perspective…all of a sudden there is room for a new belief. I love that you and your fella were able to do this with such a painful trigger. Brave and bad ass!!!

    More about beliefs to come!

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