Hey there!


The last few weeks have been a bit bumpy for me.  I had been having what I thought was IC pressure, but now I think it was the beginnings of a bladder infection.  Thanks to AZO strips I found out at home.  And Yes! it was an infection.  I was soooooooo relieved when the strip turned purple.  I would rather have a bladder infection than the other thing.  That IC thing that just shows up unannounced and acts like it can  hang out as long as it wants to.

This morning, I start day 3 of the antibiotic and I am feeling a little relief from the symptoms.  I think.  I hope.  I might be making that up…but, who cares right?

The difficult part of this has been my memory.  It has been a little over a year since my surgery and my mind still remembers how sick I was before that.  How really really really sick I was.  And over the last handful of weeks, there have been days where I felt that old pain again.  Not as bad as it used to be…but pain none the less.  My thoughts have been whispering not so sweet nothings in my ear…things like “told ya it was gonna come back!” and “you won’t ever be free of this” and “it’s coming back!!!”

It is traumatizing to have a chronic illness.

Chronic illness changes so many aspects of ones life.

Even when it gets better there are lingering fearful thoughts that the sneaky little sucker will come back.  When I feel comfy in my body, these thoughts go away (out of sight, out of mind)…but, the minute I feel pressure, or tugging or anything like that the thoughts show up again. I think they are friends or something.  Pain and nasty thoughts love to skip and play together…BFF’s!

I did some EFT on these thoughts this morning:

“Even though I am afraid the IC is coming back…”

“Even though IC is out to get me…”

“Even though IC is NEVER gonna go away, I love and accept myself anyway.”

The thoughts have softened and now I feel more at peace.  I feel present.  My body is doing the best it can…and so am I.  I also am noticing what a pretty morning it is outside.  It rained last night and the air smell so fresh and alive.  The birds are having their breakfast at the bird feeders…one bird is taking a bath in the bird bath.  Over by the pergola, a young bunny is eating something yummy from the garden.  My dog Elly just looked at me and smiled, then stretched and closed her eyes.

All is well.

I am going to be fine.

4 Responses to “Oh NO! It’s coming back…uh-oh…”

  1. Sending thoughts of wellness to you and Elly!

  2. Thanks Mr Peg 😉
    I am feeling much better:) Yay antibiotics :)

  3. Hi Lynnes, Yes it is traumatizing to have a chronic illness! A bladder infection on top of an IC bladder is incredibly (often unbearably painful… when it’s ongoing it’s exhausting physically, mentally and emotionally.

    Makes sense that the pain of last week would bring back memories, you were in so much pain for so long…

    How good are the days when the symptoms stay far away and we can stay in a lovely bubble of denial. And, how hard when they ring the door bell and announce “I’m baaack!”

    Thank goodness that they do take leave again! Glad you are starting to feel better and hope the pain LEAVES you alone for a long time, very soon. Love, Kerry

  4. Thanks Kerry~ I am feeling tons better today! yay!!! I can actually sit and do some work on the computer~
    I need to do some more tapping on the fear though…cuz this morning when I woke up I could hear it whispering in my ear~
    shut up shut up shut up shut up!!!!

    Hope you are feeling good Kerry~ how have you been doing with all of these storms?
    Love ya~

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