Hi babe-a-roos’ and dude-a-roos’s!

Hope this post finds you dandydoodle~

I recently received an email that told me that I needed to become enlightened.  Of course, the email had some sort of six-step process to achieve this state of perfection.  Since I am obviously NOT enlightened (everyone knows that…even this guy who sent me this email) I read his email…cuz of course I wanna be enlightened!!!!

Or do I?

After a long and lengthy marketing letter filled with lots of…hmmmm…crap…there were some links to follow that said:  “If you are ready to move towards enlightenment FOLLOW THIS LINK!”  At this point I was laughing so hard (I am just not enlightened enough to take this seriously), I followed the link.

Guess where it sent me?

Go ahead and guess…

It sent me to a page that talked about a training seminar.  A six week course that costs a bazillion dollars and at the end of the course I would reach nirvana!  If the course didn’t work for me…would I get my money back?  From the looks of things…probably not.

I hit delete.

The email had got me thinkin’ though.  As a young person, I spent time looking for enlightenment.  I remember reading Carlos Castanada as a teenager and then going up to Mt Diablo to try and find my “hot spot”…my spot of power.  Nothin.  Nada. Zip.  No power spot for me.

In my early 20’s I took meditation classes. The idea was to quiet the mind for long periods of time.  I was able to do this….for long periods of time. At the end of the meditations the instructor would ask us if we were able to achieve quiet mind.

Yes!  I was!

Oh yea…I was sooooooo enlightened.  Yep that’s me.  Missssss enlightened cuz I could do quiet mind for long periods of time!

Not.

This ability had nothing to do with enlightenment…

Nope.

It’s a blond thing.

Lights on…no body is home.

So, I moved on.  Took yoga.  Nice.  Got into great shape…but no enlightenment there either.  I was born super limber.  I could do the splitz, back bends…put my leg over my head…is this enlightenment?  No…just double jointed!

Took classes on intuition, spirituality, astral projection….blah blah blah…until one day I got over it.  I just got over it.  I realized that this search for enlightenment was really a journey driven by my critic.  That inner voice that continually told me that I was not good enough until______. Some how becoming enlightened had changed its meaning…becoming enlightened meant I would be perfect somehow.  I would never get mad.  I would never get sick. I would never get scared.  I would always have financial abundance.  I would always be super loving no matter what…I would be perfect babe!

I also realized that these folks that were calling themselves “enlightened” were just selling their own brand of “trying to be perfect” and I wasn’t gonna buy anymore of it.  At this point, I decided to fully embrace this thing called “being human.” Weird huh?  Seems so uncomplicated.  Seems so “not mysterious”.  Hmmmm I guess I kinda took all the glitz and glamour out of it.  Oh….I took the “specialness” out of it.

My form of connecting with my inner divinty?

Being perfectly imperfect!

So, I guess the answer to my question is a big joyful NO!  No, I am not enlightened…and no I am not interested in becoming enlightened…which I am sure really drops me down on the enlightened scale.  I am happy (most of the time…for sure not ALL the time) being my goofy, fussy, joyful, bitchy, annoyed, content, brilliant, stupid, klutzy, graceful, silly, magical…sad…bright self~

Oh and since I still have a whisper of a chronic illness…which in some circles means that I am super duper unenlightened…I honor my body as well.  I am not great at this every day. But, I am perfectly imperfect even at honoring this body of mine.  Most days I love it…some days it bums me out…some days I am annoyed that gravity continues to prevail and my butt continues to head down south…but this is my human experience.  This is my perfectly imperfect relationship with my body.

So, put that in your pipe and smoke it…dude with the expensive class on enlightenment!!!!!

Ya, ya I know.  It’s just cuz I don’t get it!

Have a wonderfully unenlightened day!!!!