Hey there you gorgeous readers you!!!

First I want to say “Happy Anniversary” to me and my fella~  July 13th is our 13th year of marriage and we have been together for 15 years…and we still like each other, deeply love each other and only want to strangle each other once in awhile.

Not too shabby!!!

And since I am a bit on the “make things magic” side, I think being married for 13 years on the 13th is cool. In my world that means something.  At least I can turn it into something magical that this means…right? I could make up some nifty things about this.

Things like…

~This year we will win Publishers Clearinghouse

~This year will be the year we get to travel to Europe

~This year we will get to see Joni Mitchell in concert

~This year we will have lots of sex, music and tons o’ fun

~This year will be our best year yet!

I could go on….but, this blog post is about something else…or is it?

You might be wondering (or not) what drew us to the date of July 13th?  Well, the month was a month that folks could come and celebrate with us…AND the 13th?  It is one of my favorite numbers…and hence, I thought I would remember the date better.

Has that happened?

No.

My fella always has to remind me 😉

So, back to the topic at hand…how do we balance between thriving and diving?

How do we balance our own personal polarities?

And what the hell does this have to do with me and my fellas anniversary?

As I have said, I am quite the proverbial magical child…that archetype is alive and thriving within me.  About a year before I met my fella, I had dealt with a major trauma…well, not really “dealt” with it…but, the experience was still very much alive with me.  You see, I was widowed.  It was sudden. Scary.  And brutal.  So, when I met my fella back then, I was still pretty messed up.  We fell in love anyway.  I tried hard not too. But, it happened.

A handful of blinks later my fella asked me to marry him.

Now, here is where this personal polarity comes in.  I am very magical in my thinking…which can make things all sparkly and fun…it can also make things dark and scary.  My magical mind thought that if we made our relationship legal…that would be his death sentence.

I kid you not!

So after a lot of thought…I bravely said “Yes, I will marry you…..

But….

Let’s not do this legally.  We can have a spiritual ceremony with all of our loved ones…but, we won’t sign on the dotted line.”

He agreed.

He knew me well.

He knew I was terrified.

You see no matter how you slice it…we are all going to die.  And since I had a husband die, a best friend die, and many close friends die…I was pretty damned freaked out.  I couldn’t pretend to not know what I knew.  And what I knew was…loss is painful.  Loss is heart breaking.  Loss sucks!

I had to hold the “both/and” of the situation…the polarity of the situation.  I was deeply in love with this man.  I couldn’t believe that I was given so much grace in my life to have loved a man who died, to have a continuing loving relationship with my ex…to have so many friends that I loved and to have this opportunity to have love with a new man…to have love again.   Sitting along side this feeling of grace was the KNOWING that this man who I was in love with would die.  Big huge polarity!  I was so happy….and so afraid!  I was in magic that consisted of bright sparkly things as well as dark superstitious things.

So, on July 13th we married…and did not sign on the dotted line (we did that a few years ago for tax purposes…I know I am such a romantic!).  We did make an agreement with each other that we have to die together or I gotta die before him.  We did sign on that dotted line 😉

Yay us!  Happy Anniversary my cute fabulous fella!  Happy Anniversary to me!  We are two brave bad ass lovers and best friends~

Personal polarities is such a rich topic and I will be exploring this more through out the week.  If you find this topic curiouser and curiouser… come join Christine and I today @ noon mountain time….on our internet radio show.  Can’t make the time?  Not a problem…all the shows are recorded and listed on our show page:)

So, here are some questions to play with:

What are a few of your polarities?  Those places inside of you…part of your personality…that allow you to thrive…but can also make you dive?

Would love to hear from you 😉

Have a ‘both/and’ day 😉