I have been having trouble.

Big trouble.

This trouble has been showing up now and again.

To remedy this trouble I tried to take this thing over here.  Which made my trouble get bigger.  And bigger.  So, I stopped taking those things.  But, I am afraid taking those things seems to have waken up the beast.  And now, it refuses to go back to sleep. It is wide awake and has lots to say!!!!

I tried beating it into submission…but that didn’t work.

I tried being all like “Ahhhhh you sweet little thing…you just need to take another nap!”   Kindness didn’t work either.

So, I tried giving it a cookie.  That did help a little…it was chocolate chip 😉

I gave it rest…a baking soda bath…heating pad…decorating shows…pain meds…more rest…and that little sneaky sucker is still hangin out when I woke up this morning.  At least I was able to sleep!


It’s IC…

…and it is back.

So, after a couple of days of being house bound again…I bravely opened the Susun Weed’s book that I had bought to help find some herbal support.  She mentions that a large percentage of women suffering from IC have suicidal thoughts.  Other resources have mentioned a high percentage of women commit suicide who have this condition.

I can understand this.

I think many folks who have chronic health conditions (especially ones that have pain) can relate to this.  Something happens in the brain when pain goes on to long…it gets all cuffufled in there!

I am not saying that I am thinking of driving my car into a wall or anything…for one, my car is too damned cute to do that to it and for another…I can’t get out of the house right now to even drive it!  But, I am feeling bummed out.

No way to glitter it up.

I am bummed.

Like I could start cryin right now.

At least the pain isn’t as bad as it used to be.

At least I work from home.

At least I have a cool new bathtub that is fabulous to lay down in.

At least…

I have nothing witty to end this post on…I have been sitting here looking at the screen waiting for some funny, charming finishing thought…

Got nothin’

Big hugs to all of you out there who are dealing with chronic illness…

Big hugs to me!

11 Responses to “I am having BIG trouble!”

  1. Yeah, pain really sucks.

  2. Yes it does!!!! It really really really really really sucks!!!!!!!

  3. Let your foul language fly:


    Hope you feel better, quicker than you can say “Dickwad.” :)

  4. big Big BIG BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. IC pain sucks! When it is flared up, it is like being in labor indefinately, which is enough to send anyone over the “find humor in it”, cliff. (Even hugely witty, funny souls like you my friend.)

    Thank you Lynne for your vulnerability and for sharing the reality of being in unrelenting pain and the biochemical darkness that it sends our emotions.

    After more than twenty years of sharing this IC journey…the ebb and flow of it, that you will again hit a place where the pain gives you a break for a good long while.

    I’m so glad you finished your bathroom remodels and that they look great. I remember when our friendship first began and we both had IC that hadn’t been diagnosed. We’d talk about how important gorgeous bathrooms are when are bladders feel like they are set on fire while being continually stabbed from within! The only place to even begin to try to cope with it is the bathroom…so much time to look at bathroom walls.

    I wish I could send in IC fire fighters to put the pain out! Until then sending hugs and love. I am so sorry you are having to endure such pain!

  6. Aw, Lynne – I’m so sorry. Clearly, all is NOT well in the world. And you’re right, you can coat a turd in honey, but underneath, it’s still a turd. There’s no good way to dress pain up so it looks pretty. Sending you hugs!

  7. Ah girl….sending painless hugs.

  8. funny you should mention that Peg, I just watched a bit of a show on that the other night….swearing helps!!! &#$@*@#@!

  9. Chronic pain is the very VERY worst. Huge hugs and lots of love and I know that sounds good and feels good emotionally and that is no help at all physically–go ahead and swear lots. I might just try that. :)

  10. Hi everyone!!!! Thanks for all your support. I gotta say Mr Peg…that is the best fucking research in the whole fucking world!!! Now I can add that to my list of ways to soothe the pain!
    Love it!!!
    I am off to the bath tub:)
    Bye fer now
    Big hugs everyone!

  11. Big hugs and tons of love to you, Lynne. I am so sorry to hear that nasty sucker is back. Damn, damn, damn.

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