I was commenting on a comment from yesterday’s post and I decided to blog about the memory…because it is very funny…at least it is now!!!

Many years ago…in a land far, far away (Santa Barbara, CA) my friend Jana and I decided to take our brand new infant sons out shopping.   So off we went, diaper bags, baby seats, and a ton of other crap!  I got all dressed up in a pretty white dress and she was looking fabulous in a flower print dress. 

This was the first time that we had braved being out in the fancy stores with our boys.  Our boys were around 3 months old. 

Now, my friend Jana didn’t know that this was one of the first times that I had ever braved these sorts of stores.  I was 22 years old, and a Dead head…who tended towards clothing trades and the free box at our laundry mat.

So, this was WAY WAY WAY out of my comfort zone!

We decided to go into a beautiful boutique.  The presentation of clothing was gorgeous and VERY expensive.  Jana went off to try on clothes and I sat with the babies…feeling…oh, I dunno…very weird and out of place.  Jana found a shirt that would fit over her enormous boobs, which had quadrupled during her pregnancy!  I think the shirt cost a zillion dollars.

As we stood  at the register and Jana paid…I noticed that one of the women who worked in the store was giving me a dirty look.  Almost a scowl. 

I thought to myself:  "Oh man, I don’t belong here at all."

As we left the store, I told Jana what had happened.  She was walking sort of behind me and grabbed me by the shoulder and said:

"Oh my god Lynne, look at the back of your dress!"

As I turned, I felt this cold, icky feeling of wet something!

Me: "Oh my god Jana, Ethan barfed down the back of me!"

Jana:  "No wonder that lady was giving you such a dirty look.  Ethan probably barfed all over the hard wood floors!"

This lovely trail of barf had turned the back of my white dress to a sheer translucent disaster…so anyone behind me could see my undies and my super ubber nursing bra.

Jana looked at me horrified:  "I can’t take you anywhere!"
Me:  "Lets just go back home and call it a day!"

To this day, I still feel uncomfortable and self conscious in these sorts of upscale stores…hmmmmm maybe I need to do some tapping:

"Even though, I feel totally self conscious in upscale stores, I am afraid someone is gonna barf on me, or I am gonna have something else humiliating happen…I accept myself anyway!"

Tap
Tap
Tap

IF you feel like sharing some of your humiliations…we would all LOVE to hear them!!!