I am married to a gear head.  Yep!  My fella is a gear head.  He is always looking for that perfect sounding guitar…that perfect sounding amp…just the right tubes for his amps…on and on the list goes.  He is a sound slut.  He can’t help himself. 

He is looking for the holy grail of sound!

This year it has been about ’67 fender amps.  He now has two of them.  Oh, I mean three of them…he has two big ones…and the other day he brought home a smaller one.  Easier to carry to rehearsals…yep.  That makes sense:) 

In the past year, I have had many tortured moments of being called into the studio to "hear the difference" between amp tubes.  Yep.  Amp tubes!  I listen patiently (*cough* most of the time) as he puts in one type of tube and then another type of tube and asks me which one I like.  Sometimes, I hear a difference…but most of the time…hmmmmmmm…not so much.  But he does! 

He is looking for the holy grail of sound.

Hasn’t quite found it yet.

I thought he had when he brought home these amps…I thought that the insanity was over.  Uh….Nope!  Now, its about the tubes.  Oh, and guitars.

My fella and I often talk about the holy grail.  Within the mythology there is usually a process of spiritual enlightenment that must take place before the person can even go and look for the grail.  I tend to focus on what happens to folks who are looking for the holy grail…..they go mad!!!!!!  And what happened to the poor fella who found it?  Was that Lancelot?  Anyway, I think he exploded…or something.  Whatever it was…it wasn’t a good thing. 

I got to thinking about this whole concept…the metaphor of the holy grail.  In modern day culture the holy grail is seen as an all-but-unattainable goal.  I think that most of us have our own personal holy grail.  It’s not just for gear heads! 

Some folks have "the relationship" holy grail:
(Imagine the "Dating game" music in the background)

The perfect relationship with a person who NEVER lets me down.  Who ALWAYS wants to listen to me.  Who makes tons of money, never travels, is home by 6:00pm and will help fold the laundry.  This person ALWAYS shares their feelings with me in a kind way.  This person NEVER calls me on my crap…but, I can ALWAYS call them on theirs.  Once I find this person….then I WILL BE HAPPY!

Some folks have "the money" holy grail:
(Oh…I know…."Money" by Pink Floyd playing in the background)

When I find a way to make, win, inherit (whatever) _______ amount of money, I will be able to relax.  I will be free.  This magic amount of money will give me peace, serenity and adventure.  When this money comes into my life, I will pay off all debt and have everything I want…..and THAN I WILL BE HAPPY!

Some folks have "the job" holy grail:
(I am not sure what music could be in the background for this…maybe some Miles Davis)

When I finally get this perfect job, I will have lots of money, be treated as I deserve, I will meet fantastic friends.  I will have a wonderful boss who looks to me for decisions and is always supportive to me when I need to take time off.  I will finally use my skills and talents.  My life will be complete and then I WILL BE HAPPY!

I will stop:)

My holy grail is finding that perfect place to live where I want to stay….FOREVER!!!!  I have never found it.  I have lived in gorgeous places and after a handful of years, I am ready to move along.  If I travel, I imagine myself living in that place that I am traveling too.  Maybe I am just a gypsy at heart…because I do enjoy the places that I have lived.  I just get bored after awhile and I am ready for a new adventure.   I never want to go back to where I have been. 

I have been in Colorado for about 7 years now…and I am ready to move again.  My new dream is Washington, or England…or maybe Scotland.  Oh…Canada would be cool too.  This next move…whenever we make it…will be the last one.  I promise.  I will be so fulfilled that i don’t want to move.  I promise!  Hmmmmmmmmm sounds like that madness is beginning to surface.  Uh oh…better warn my family!

So…what is your holy grail?
What is that "all-but-unattainable" goal you are looking for?
Where is your inner madness?

You know why it is madness?  Because when we look for anything to be perfect…to make us happy…especially when it outside of ourselves…we are screwed.  We are banging our heads against a wall.  Ah….but, it is an interesting journey anyway:~)

Oh…please do share.  I love talking about madness!!!!!!

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