Good day lovely friends!

I was going to chat more about "truth" and how it changes and morphs…but, I recently smashed into a new truth!  This truth is absolutely devastating.  I can barely handle it!

What is this devastating truth you might ask?

Here it is….drum roll please!

I have to stop swearing!!!!

Yep, you read that right!

I have to stop swearing!

I realized this on Saturday when I began my training at the radio station.  Right there in the training manual was a page devoted to what words I cannot say.  Now, most of them…I would never say.  But, some of them are my favs.  I am embarrassed to say that my favorite word is "shit" followed by "crap" with a "fuck" sprinkled in once and awhile. 

I know…I am a potty mouth.

I first came upon swear words when I was a young pumpkin doodle.  I must have been about 7 or 8 when I heard a string of them pouring out of my neighbors mouth.  He was not a very nice person…having recently been released from San Quentin prison. I kid you not!  Anyway, at that time I thought he was scary…which he was….so I was not into the string of words.  Besides, I didn’t know what they meant….probably had something to do with the fact that he had just gotten out of prison!!!

Some years later…at the wise old age of 11…I heard my brother use a string of words that were directed towards my mom.  Now, by this age, I was beginning to…hmmmmm…look for ways to individuate.  So, when my brother said this string of words and my moms head flew off… well, lets just say that I took notice!

I thought to myself: "Well, would you look at that!  Her head just flew off.  Hmmmmm I LIKE those words!"

Some time went by.

One day I was at school…a catholic school…and the Principal (she shall remain nameless), got mad at me for something.  She was a rather…ummmm…MEAN AND EVIL sort of woman and I was always getting in trouble with her.  Anyway, I did something to bug her and she swatted my bottom.  Yep!  You read that right!  Actually, I am being polite here.  She whacked my butt really hard…with her hand.  EWWWWWWWWWWWWW

I turned around to her and said: "Take your fuckin hands off of me!!!!!"

I know how terrible that seems but, she was really mean.  And she had done some outrageous things to some other kids in my class and I was afraid of her.  I had been practicing saying swear words with friends and this just seemed like the right time to say one at a mean old witch!!!!

Well, lets just say that her head flew right off.  She whipped around, grabbed me and threw me into her office.  I didn’t realize at the time that swearing AT someone, might make things worse.  I just wanted to see her head fly off!

I won’t tell you what happened next.  Let’s just say, I got into a shit load of trouble and had to say a zillion "Hail Mary’s" and a billion "Our Father’s."
…BUT, she NEVER laid a hand on me or on anyone else in my class after that.

As I grew older, into my teens…I only swore at people who were being really rotten.  The rest of the time I would use swear words as….hmmmmmm…let’s say I used them as embellishment.

In my early 20s I gave birth to my wonderful son Ethan and I decided that I would never swear around him.  By the time Corey was born, two years later, I had kicked the habit…at least around them.  Around my friends, I still enjoyed an embellishment now and again. 

I have given permission through out my life to many people, allowing them to embrace the freedom and fun of swearing.  My friend Kerry still reminds me of how I "taught" her to enjoy swearing.  Well, when you have little kids, and you are a full time student…one NEEDS to be able to go out with a girlfriend and let loose a bit.  Ya know??????

As the years went by, my boys rarely heard me swear.  Once in awhile a favorite swear word would slip out if I hit my head on the cabinets or something like that.  My boys would look at me with horror:  "Mom, you just said the "s" word!"

I still swore around friends and some clients who found this to be therapeutic!  I had a weird kind of ability to control it. 

Once the boys got older….I am talking over 18 years old…I decided that it was okay to swear around them.  To their shock…I started to say "shit" sometimes…sprinkled with "crap" now and then.  When I was being really outraged I would say the "F" word.  I say this word ALOT when I hear our stupid president open his mouth!  But, that is another blog!!!

Since the boys have moved out into their own places…I have begun to swear like a sailor again.  Its just SO MUCH FUN!!!!! 

Well, time to stop!

I am going to have my own radio show…I CAN"T be swearing!  Since it’s public radio…swearing is a BIG no-no! 

I was mentioning this to a client and she was so bummed.  She said "You can’t stop swearing!  You are my swearing buddy!"  Another client said: "Well, I don’t know if we will be a good match anymore if you stop swearing!"  Hmmmmmm interesting!
I guess that my swearing has freed up others to swear and they find it very supportive.  Well, in THAT case….I can’t just stop!!!!

I guess I am going to have figure out how to restrain myself when I am on the radio. Hey, I was able to do it when my kids were growing up…how hard can it be?  I mean really!!!!!!  I have control over myself.  Right?  I am an adult.  I have a say over the kind of crap that comes pouring out of my mouth.  Right?  Oops…I mean: "I have a say over the kinds of words that come pouring out of my mouth." Right?

Uh oh….I think this MIGHT be harder than I thought!

Wish me luck!!!!

4 Responses to “Crap…I need to stop swearing!”

  1. Good Luck Lynn,
    It seems I have a problem lately with the f word!! I know I am really upset about something when that word just keeps coming out, I mean like every other word!! It seems to get the point across better some how is all I know. I need to watch it too, I see to have been saying it a couple of times quietly to coworkers (who are stunned!) when telling certain stories. But I believe as woman getting older (not us of course!) we need the release and can control where we say it. Hopefully anyway.
    Again good luck.

  2. I’m so glad you’re not giving this up altogether! It’s so freeing to have someone I can swear freely around :)

  3. Hi there Doreen…I love the “f” word…its just so expressive. I believe it to be a good energy releaser! Who needs reiki when a string of swear words can do the same thing? Just kiddding….I love reiki…no disrespect meant!
    Good luck with the swearing at work.

  4. Thanks Jenny…yep, we can continue our relationship filled with swearing. It just wouldn’t be the same if we could not swear together…ya know?

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