I stole this from Gary Craigs newsletter!  Its hilarious:)
(sorry this type is so big and bold…I can’t figure out how to change it!)

Astrological Light Bulbs

How many members of your astrological sign does it take to Change A Light Bulb?

Aries: Just one. You want to make something of it?

Taurus: One, but just "try" to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

Gemini: Two, but the job never gets done – they just keep arguing
about who is supposed to do it and how it’s supposed to be done!

Cancer: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.

Leo: Leos don’t change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo to do the job for them while they’re out.

Virgo: Approximately 1.0000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.

Libra: Er, two. Or maybe one. No – on second thought, make that two. Is that okay with you?

Scorpio: That information is strictly secret and shared only with
the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical
Order.

Sagittarius: The sun is shining, the day is young and we’ve got our
whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid
light bulb?

Capricorn: I don’t waste my time with these childish jokes.

Aquarius: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so…

Pisces: Lightbulb? What lightbulb?

Author Unknown