Hello there Dudes and Dudettes!
Yesterday, I was chatting with a friend of mine. She is quite brilliant. I am not being polite here! She is over the top smart. Sometimes I wonder what she is doing slumming around with me…but that is a totally different blog topic!
Anyhow, she has decided to go back to school. Oh, I forgot to mention that not only is she ubber smart, she is also one of the bravest people I have ever known. Okay, so back to the school thing! This program is all about testing out of the classes. You study for the class on your own, then you take a test. Well, for someone like her…this is a great thing. For someone like me….It would be death for sure!!!!
So, yesterday she was practicing taking some tests for a 6 unit class. 6 UNITS!!!! I called her up:
Me: “How is the testing going?”
Her: “Oh my godddddd..I failed the test!”
Me: “Didn’t you just start studying?”
Her: “I doesn’t matter! I FAILED the test!”
I thought she was kidding in her anxiety about this because she had just started studying and it was a 6 UNIT class…to be completed in this one test!
Me: (laughing): “Well, that’s OK. You will do better the more you practice!”
Her: “You don’t understand! I FAILED!!!”
At this point…I got it! She is a “Failure Virgin.” She has never failed at anything. She is brilliant at everything she decides she wants to do. I, on the other hand…am pretty much of a “failure slut!” I have failed so many times, that I have come to think of this tendency as part of my learning curve.
We chatted for a bit longer and then she had to go back to her test taking…I had to go back to resting from uterine removal surgery! As I was laying there, thinking about our conversation, I started wondering if there was any place in my life where I was a Failure Virgin? What experiences of “not succeeding” had shocked me? When had I ever been thrown to the ground by failing at something I thought I was brilliant at?
OUCH! Got one!
OWWWWW Got another!
YIKES! Remembered some more.
Okay…I got it!!
My shocking failures tend to be around relationships. When a relationship with a friend does not last FOREVER, I am shocked. You see, I am good at relationships! I love friendships, I love my relationship with my kids, I love my relationship with my fella, I love my relationship with my clients. These are some of my greatest joys. I have had a few friendships go sour. Sometimes due to my own crap. A couple of times due to the other persons stuff. No matter how they ended…I had this feeling of shock. Like: “This is impossible! I am so good at friendships…how could this happen???”
Well, this is definitely when I feel like a virgin…a Relationship Failure Virgin!
So, brilliant readers, in what area of your life are you a “Failure Virgin?”
What did you tell your self that failure meant about you?
Were you able to pick yourself up and continue to forge ahead?
If so, what happened next?
If not, what did you decide to do?
In our culture failure if a bad 7 letter word. It means that some how you didn’t TRY hard enough, or want it bad enough! What if we took the judgment out of failure. What if we could enjoy being failure sluts?
Hmmmmmmmm…interesting.
…this moment has been brought to you by “Failures Anonymous.”
Have a Fab-o-Rama day!
May 2nd, 2008
Okay, so just readers know, that was a practice test that I failed, which STILL COUNTS! Lynne exaggerated nothing when relating our conversation, except that I said OMIGOD a few more times than that.
Today I took the real exam, which has 80 questions (80 pts). You need a score of 50 or above to pass. After yesterday, I had no idea what was going to happen. I contemplated canceling my test appointment, but I did not.
My score? 78. The test administrator said, “You DESTROYED that test! You slaughtered it! Nobody gets a 78!”
I muttered something about how my lesson in humility will have to wait for another day. 😉 But mind you, I know it is coming!
Lynne, what you don’t know about me and failure is that I have learned the art of NOT ADVERTISING my failure, thus tricking people into believing that I don’t fail.
Actually, that’s not true. I do advertise my failures now, but ONLY IF they make funny blog stories. Then everybody can know, as long as they laugh! Somehow, that seems to cushion the blow. Go figure.
May 3rd, 2008
Well, I still think you are brill and we mere mortals just can’t keep up! Ah well, at least I can live vicariously through you:)
Congrats on your test score…and YES! humility must wait for another day!!!
May 3rd, 2008
I am a total failure slut. Virginity is far behind me. I used to think I was a virgin when it came to mothering. I mean I am a super teriffic mom. I did it all right, at least by my book. Anyway, all that has changed now…I have teenagers. Yes, two teenage girls. So my track record has changed. Now I am just a total failure slut. Yee-haw.
May 3rd, 2008
Failure is NOT an option! Yeah, I get it. When I took my exam to become a virtual assistant I was ever-so confident. This was, of course, all virtual, so the test was emailed to each of us on Friday night. We had until midnight Sunday to return it. I spent over 24 hours on it (as did my fellow students). It was grueling! I passed by the skin of my teeth. WHAT? What the f@$! do you mean? I did NOT get 82% No! Not possible! (80% was passing.) I was so devastated it took me 3 years to actually start my practice.
I’ve been sitting here, staring at the screen, for almost half an hour, unable to push the “Post” button. Am I ready for the world to know I almost failed my virtual assistant exam? What if someone was just going to call me to be their virtual assistant and now they decide they need someone who can actually do well on tests? What if…. You get the idea.
OK, I can do this. If I just do it quickly, like pulling off a bandage, it will be fine. Push the button, push the button, push the button, pus
May 3rd, 2008
I’d have to agree with Andra that in this day and age it’s easy to feel like a failure slut. My finances, my job, and even my ability to meet my loved ones’ expectations leave me as a total failure slut. I’m a corporate white man. Gone are the days from high school and college where I brought in hoards of 100s. I could make things perfect then. Now, it’s a matter of survival. It seems like in adulthood there’s no one there to mark your tests with the right score, give you partial credits or allow for make up exams. You’re only left with your own thought and feelings about your tests and you are the only one who can score them. I just wish I was a better grader.