Happy October!

I love this time of year.  Something wakes up within me.  I want to write more, do creative projects…go for walks…I want to sit in coffee shops with friends and talk about this, that and the other thing.  I love how the air feels.  I love the yellows, golds and reds that show up on the trees.

As I sit here in my office, I look out towards the lake and I can hear a bunch of geese chatting about all sorts of stuff.  Soon they will come flying over our house to visit friends that they haven’t seen since last year. On the corner of the roof, I am watching two squirrels cleaning themselves and having a snack…soon they will scamper away to go play in the trees.

As I witness all of this activity and play in the world outside my window, for a moment, I feel peace.  All is well.

Then…

my fella comes in and asks me if I am going to call the insurance company this week.

“NO” I say…with a bit of an edge to my voice.  “I figured I would call them on Monday.”

You see, since my surgery (which was in April) our insurance company has been “investigating” my claim.  I guess “Pre-approval” means nothing to them!  So every week to every other week, I spend about a half an hour…to an hour on the phone trying to get them to complete this “investigation.” I never talk to the same person…and every time I speak with someone they say something different.

I have heard:

“We are waiting for the files from Dr_____”  said one woman

“Uh…they were already sent to you.  AND I was told last time that you HAD THEM!!!!” said me

“Well,” she says in a voice that just makes me want to strangle her “I don’t see them here.  Would you like to stay on the phone while I fax the office of Dr______ and request these files?”

“They have faxed them to you already.  In my notes I have written down that they faxed then to you twice…the doctors office has confirmed this!!!!!!!!!!!”  Says me…with even more of an edge.

“Would you like to hold while I fax the office of Dr_____?” her voice getting more formal and curt.

“Fine” says me…feeling completely deflated.

And this goes on and on.  Last week when I called, I was told that since this has “taken so long to process” they might have to resubmit everything all over again.  Un-fuckin’ believable!!!!!

I realize that this story in nothing new.  There a millions of us who are going through this.  Millions!!!!  And many of those folks have had to claim bankruptcy.  BANKRUPTCY!!!!  I am just so upset at this…my head hurts!

My fella has already talked to a lawyer and things just don’t sound too good.  This guy said if they use stall tactics, they probably won’t pay. He said we could try to sue them…because they pre- approved the surgery…but, he said that could take years and alot of money.  The whole thing feels so icky…so messed up.

Who knew that one question “Are you going to call the insurance company?” would set off such a huge string of thoughts that create a pretty big clump of anxiety!!!  We are doing everything we can…it feels like we are at their mercy…or their lack of mercy….

So for now…I think I am going to go outside and watch the squirrels play, and listen to the birds sing…and watch the leaves dress themselves in such gorgeous displays of color….cuz hangin’ out in this….SUCKS!!!

Bye for now!