Okay…get your heads out of the gutter…I am talking about something else!

The title of this post is 2 fold.  First, I am trying to create titles that capture interest.  Did this title capture your interest?

Secondly, I wanted to find a light-hearted way to chat about how averse we have become, as a culture, to making mistakes.  Or not being perfect at a particular skill.  This has played out in a big way politically over the last bunch of years.  I was secretly relieved when President Obama with the Justice dude, flubbed up their lines when he was sworn in.  I was glad because I knew that school kids all over the country were watching this…and maybe thinking “well, if they screw up their lines…maybe it is okay if I do!”  At least that is what I hope they were thinking!

Ah mistakes.

We all make them.

Ah sucking.

We all suck at things when we first learn them.

My fella teaches folks how to play guitar.  Sometimes, he works with kids who are terrified of making mistakes.  They are so averse to it, that they freeze during their lessons.  My fella is brilliant with kids.  He does everything he can to let them know that when you start anything new…you are gonna suck at it.  Especially, with a musical instrument.  It takes a long time to sound decent.  AND that is OKAY!  It is just part of the learning process.

We all have things in our lives that we totally suck at no matter how much learning we have.

For me that is numbers.  Those of you who have read this blog for awhile know that 2+2…does NOT always equal 4 (at least in my world).  I tried learning this stuff when I was a wee munchkin and I tried again when my boys were learning math in school.  I thought they were brilliant at it (but, to me if you can add something up…you are smart!), they thought they sucked at it…but after awhile they started to understand.  Probably because they had to keep explaining their homework to me!!!

Another thing that I completely suck at…is car maintenance.  For some strange reason, long long ago…I got it stuck in my head that my car should run FOREVER…PERFECTLY!!!!  Luckily, my fella is really good at remembering car maintenance and will ask me things like: “How many miles do you have left before you need your oil change?”  Like I am gonna know that!!!!  Right!  Since I am kind of embarrassed that I never remember this…sometimes I answer him with a bit of an edge: “How the hell should I know????”  So he just goes and checks the sticker and takes it in when it needs to go in.  He knows…that I just don’t DO car stuff.  I keep my car clean and pretty!  That is what I am good at:)

I can continue to list things…things that I suck at.  Tons of them.  Some of these things I could care less about (like car maintenance) but, some of them, I wish I was better at.  Like technology.  I am not a fast learner when it comes to technology.  I work it.  Over. AND. Over. AGAIN.  Until I get it.  Even then, sometimes it leaves my brain.  I just plain ol’ suck at it.

To me…this is not a negative.  We all suck at things.  So what???

So, I would like to give you some homework…if you dare to play along!  I dare you…actually, I double dare you to find a way towards peace when you suck at something.  Or when those who are in your life suck at something.

I tipple dare you to embrace sucking!

Just go out and do something that you suck at…and have fun.  Just do it for the suckiness of it all.

Embrace sucking!

That just might be a good bumper sticker!

Have a fabulous sucky day:)

How is that for a reframe???

4 Responses to “Are you averse to sucking?”

  1. Oh I just love this post! I could have written the one about numbers! I suck at numbers too. Cooking is another “sucky” for me. I have always been good in music and have taught piano lessons. I’m a decent dancer too and used to teach country western line dancing but it took several years of learning before I got to that point and really sucked at it for a long time. I guess that’s proof that with lots of practice and hard work, one can get better.

    I tried playing golf about five years ago before my shoulders and hands were so bad. Talk about sucky — OMG! Not my sport!

    Over the past few years I’ve sort of avoided new things because I don’t have the time or energy to be sucky. Your post was inspiring. I have a steel guitar in the music room that I gave up on trying to learn about two years ago. I think it’s time to dust that baby off and try again :-)

    Love this post!

  2. Yes, your title did capture my interest, but I knew that you weren’t referring to the oral method of sucking.

    I was just reading about this topic in Barbara Sher’s “Wishcraft.” She devotes a small section of this book to the subject. “Give yourself permission to be bad at something.” I even commented about this on Karen’s Square Peg Reflections blog a few days ago.

    You’re right, we tend to not even start a project if we think we’ll do a lousy job.

    Many years ago, our daughter was frozen by perfectionism. Recognizing this, I decided to model imperfection. That sounds wise-assy, for sure, but not if you understand how much of a perfectionist I was, and how I was instilling my fussy ways into my daughter.

    So I stopped making piles of books neat and tidy. I colored outside the lines. I let my vegetables get mixed up with the rice. And let me tell you, this was hard work for me! But it was vital to our daughter’s development.

    Today, I’m back to my fussy ways, and my daughter teases me about it. So it worked out okay.

    I’m sorry to say that your post didn’t suck. I actually liked it! :)

    PS: one day, car engines will be Bluetooth or wireless enabled, and they will e-mail you when they’re due for an oil change. Hey, aren’t you entrepreneurial? Why not start a business building this kind of add-on?

  3. Hey there Sherlock! Oh…me too with the cooking. I suck at it! I can follow a recipe and it just turns out gross. I can cook about 6 things decently…that is about it! I can bake though:)

    I am a closet guitar player…I play a 12-string guitar when no one is home. Maybe we could jam sometime:) 2 sucky players having tons of fun:)
    Glad you liked this post!

  4. Hey Square Peg~ What a great idea to role model being “not so perfect.” I am a virgo…so coloring out of the lines would be a big challenge for me too. As for the veggies and rice…I am a casserole kind of babe…it is all about mixing it up…that way no one can tell how sucky the casserole really is!!! Hee hee! I am so sneaky!

    I am entrepreneurial…but, if I did the kind of business that you are talking about…I would shoot myself and call it a day. I would suck so bad at that 😉

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