Last night, I went with a friend of mine to see Debbie Ford.  I have read a few of her books and LOVE her work…she is all about the shadow.

What is the shadow?

Well, think of a person that drives you nuts…or better yet…pisses you off…or even better better yet…someone you hate!  Now, think about what you hate about that person…what are the traits that this person has that rubs you the wrong way.  It is not about the behaviors…it is about the traits. For example: let’s say that the person you are thinking of (the one who makes you want to scream!) is ALWAYS late.  Being late is a behavior.  What is the trait behind being late?




Okay.  So now that you have thought of a trait…or a string of them...you have nicely landed in YOUR shadow selves!  AIn’t that just the best????  Uh, ya…no.

Here is another concept to wrap your brain around.  The theory is that we are all everything.  We are good and evil.  We are kind and mean.  We are responsible and flackyWe are selfless…and selfish.  We are weak and strong. We are all of it.  The problem is we have made these aspects of ourselves wrong…or bad.  Actually, other people made these aspects of our nature wrong…and then we took over where they left off.

Think of what parents say to their kids: “Don’t be mean!” “Don’t be selfish!” Don’t be greedy!”  “Don’t be rude!”  on and on and on…

We learn to repress these parts of ourselves.  The more we try and push them down…the funkier every thing gets.  And because the Universe has an amazingly twisted sense of humor…we get to be face to face with all of these repressed parts of ourselves…when we go out into the world…or stay home with our families…or when we meet with friends…or when we talk to our mothers…or..or..or~  You know that you have landed in a shadow aspect of yourself…when you have a strong negative reaction to someone else.  Those folks are mirroring your shadow.

Are we having fun yet???

I read Debbie Ford’s book “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers” a handful of years ago.  And at that time, I had a few people in my life that triggered me (my mom, a friend of mine who was ALWAYS late, and some of the teachers at the school that I worked at).  But, nothing huge.  More like irritations rather than “pissed off.”

Until….(drum roll please) Bush showed up in office.  Ohmygodddddddddd!  Just looking at the guy would make me so mad…I would want to throw things at the TV!  There were times when I hated this man and his cronies.  Especially when we went into Irag.  That almost pushed me over the edge.

During this time, I decided to read this book again…I could feel that Bushy Boy was really stirring something up within me.  Uh…ya think????  Soon, I was face to face with a bunch of shadow gunk…Bush represented all the things that I hated about myself.  Every single stinkin one of them.

He was a fool (check!).

He was arrogant (check check).

He was a liar (yep!  me too!  That sucks!).

He was disrespectful (oh, ouch!  me too).

He was narrow minded (ok. This one might have hurt the most…me to…damn!).

He was my walking, living, breathing shadow dude…no wonder his presidency was so exhausting for me!

Towards the end of his term I could tell that I had more compassion for these parts of myself because…I didn’t hate him anymore…I just felt sorry for him.

The shadow has been playing out in a big way in the world.  Debbie said something last night that really rung true…she said that we are projecting all of these shadow parts onto the middle east.

I totally agree.

So, the next time someone scares you, or pisses you off, or you think someone is mean, or flaky or selfish or greedy…or whatever your personal unfavorite is…say “howdy” to your shadow!

Tomorrow I will talk about the light side…we have both:)

Stay tuned 😉

4 Responses to “Quit Mirroring my shadow!”

  1. Hi Lynn…glad you stopped by my blog and gave me a smile! I haven’t been by here in awhile either but your post on “the shadow” was just what I needed to hear today. I’m off now to contemplate my “self centered and self absorbed” shadow self as there’s someone in my life with these traits who has really pushed my buttons in the last year.

    Thanks for stopping by.

  2. Hi Kate~ ah good ol’ self centered! Love that one:) Have fun playing with that shadow 😉
    I am enjoying your blog and will be coming by often!
    Have a fabulously self centered day!

  3. Lynne, What a great post. I’m looking forward to reading the “light” post next. If this one was dark and I laughed all the way through it (while feeling humbled at the same time) I think I’m really going to like it. You are so darn tooting funny!

    You have a gift for taking the scariness out of shadows!

  4. Hey there Kerry~ Glad that you liked this one:) It can be kind of a heavy topic…so, I am glad that you got some giggles from this. I tried to lighten it up :)

    Love ya to reeses pieces!

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