Imagine the main character is speakin’ like he’s from the Bronx or somethin’:

This holiday is a tough one.

At least for me.

You see…I am a Thanksgiving turkey.  They even call me that down here at the yard.  All my family thinks that this is some kind of honor.  Like this is good for the family or somethin’!

But not me.

Just the sound of “Thanksgiving Turkey” makes my skin crawl.  It’s like I am havin some kind of premonition or somethin.  Anyway, everyone here thinks I am crazy when I start talkin about it.  Like I am being negative or something.  My friends keep saying that I am being fatalistic…I think that I am being realistic!

But, whaddya gonna do?

No one believes me.

But those humans…I dunno…I just don’t trust em.

I mean come on!  They feed us and stuff….for what?  For nothin?  Cuz they like us?  We just ain’t that cute.    And truth be told…we ain’t that bright.  Just last month Frank over there stood outside in the rain lookin up…I tried to get him to come inside but he wouldn’t listen.  Poor schtoop drowned.  Right outside the pen.  And this ain’t the first time it has happened….I have seen it before.

But, none of thems guys remembers.

It’s like they got no long term memory or somethin’.  Whaddya call it??


Nah that ain’t it.


Yah.  That’s it.

They got’s that amnesia thing!

It’s like once in a while these trucks come in and a bunch of us disappear.  Everyone’s  flappin about for a few minutes and then they just go back to eatin crap off the ground.  Discustin.  Stupid.

And I just gots to say that I gots this really weird feelin in my belly.  Like somethin bad is gonna happen.  I just know.

Ya know?

Ya gets this feeling?  Right there?  And ya just know…somethin ain’t right.

Somethin ain’t right.

Oh NO!  There are them trucks…they are comin our way.  Ah no. I am being forced to get on the truck with all these other schtoops.  I don’t got a good feelin about this.

As the trucks drive away….the Thanksgiving Turkey thinks to himself:

“I wish it would rain!”

Happy Turkey day 😉

P.s Now that I have written this turkeys memoirs…I think we are gonna have some pasta for Thanksgiving instead! 😉

5 Responses to “Gooble frickin gooble!”

  1. I LOVE IT, LYNNE!!! I can see it now: Thanksgiving Pasta, in celebration of the next (first?) vegan holiday. :-)

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  2. Great idea! Pasta…yummmm

  3. Hey there babe-a-roos~ Here is a toast to all the turkeys around the world :)

  4. Oh, you mean from the Bronx! Clever.

  5. Oops…hit the “c” instead of the “x”…thanks for pointing that out:) All fixed~

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