I know this is so weird.

I haven’t written anything about the holidays…and today it ain’t gonna happen either.

Instead I am going to entertain you with a funny little story of how I finally heard my first porn message…ever.  You see, I have never seen porn (well, that’s not true.  I saw one porn movie in college during a sexuality class.  Something about a woman who needed her copier fixed).  And once by accident, I ran into some online porn when I was doing a search on ‘big pickles.’ Don’t ask.

But, that is really is not much exposure. I still see myself as a porn virgin of a sort!

So…on with the story :)

I have had this secret free conference line for about 6 years.  I don’t know how I got it.  One day, it just showed up and I started to use it.  Soon after this magical moment, I took a class with my wonderful friend Christine (she is the babe that I do the radio show with!) and we were put into groups….called pods.  This is were we met our brilliant and lovely friend Alix.  After some strange conversations in the class, the three of us dropped out.

We decided to form our own group.  Just the three of us.

We also changed our name…we didn’t love the whole ‘pod’ thing so we started calling ourselves the “poddetts!”

I told Christine and Alix about my magic conference line and The Poddetts have been using it ever since.  We have become very close friends.  We chat about all sorts of things from the mindless to the very mindful.  I don’t think I would have gotten through those rough years of illness without them.

Then yesterday….something really weird happened.  I dialed the magic number, at the agreed upon time.

Waiting for the dudes voice that tells me to put in the pin number.

Instead I heard a different voice.

A different dudes voice talking about donuts, holes and hard core porn.

When I heard him say something about donuts and hard core porn…I quickly hung up.  Thought that I had dialed the wrong number.  So, I tried it again.  Nope.  Porn dude was still there.  I tried one more time…this time I listened for a bit longer in case porn dude had something interesting to say.  But, he didn’t.  And I got scared thinking that he could see me listening in…so, I hung up.

I was afraid that he could see my phone number and would try and call me to get me to do something weird with donuts….or something.  My mind got kind of fuzzy with the possible details.

Cuz porn dudes can see you when you dial their numbers…right????

Well, it is not technically porn dudes number…technically it is MY number.

It’s not like I can call him and say: “Hey porn dude!  You stole my magic conference phone number!!!!  Give it back!!!”

After dialing, redialing and then dialing again…I called Alix.

She quickly answered the phone “ewwwwww!  What was that???”

Then she flashed over to Christine and we all talked at once about porn dude.  We wondered what could have happened that porn dude could steal our magic phone line.

Since when does magic join forces with porn?

So I guess this is the end of magic conference line.  It was awesome while it lasted.  I am going to miss dialing that number every week hearing my beloved friends voices at the other end.  It is the end of an era.

Of course we will continue our weekly get togethers.  We will continue sharing our lives with each other.  We will find a new forms of magic.

As for porn dude…I just don’t know what to say.

Except, I don’t think I will ever be able to look at donuts in the same way.


6 Responses to “1-800-porndude”

  1. karma, you should have been paying for that line!

  2. Fantastic – very interesting issue. I will blog about it likewise!

  3. It really was funny! I forgot Lynne’s phone number for a moment because I was in shock.

    I don’t want to dispel the magic of the line, but for Tara’s sake…it wasn’t a karmic issue. For years, conference bridge suppliers have offered free lines to people who sign up. They know that a certain percentage of users will upgrade to paid lines that offer extra features, like recording. In the past, I’ve had both free and paid lines, when I was teaching regularly. I don’t remember how Lynne got hers, but clearly someone sold the company!

    It was priceless to hear each other saying things like, “Donuts? Wha??? I don’t get it! EW!”

    Thank you to Christine for getting us a new, porn-free line. :-)

  4. I am glad that you said all of that Alix:) Oh…and thanks Christine for getting us a porn-free line:)

  5. Hey Tara~ I am thinking if this is karma…it certainly has a hilarious sense of humor:) I always enjoy a wise-all-knowing force that dabbles in freaking folks out with porn 😉

  6. LOL! Too funny! Looks like there are multiple ends of eras going on. They say things are speeding up. Is this one of them? du..du..du..du.. see any space ships yet?
    Oh, donuts!
    (that sounds like a safe ‘4 letter word’)

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