I was hangin out with my fella last night…we were reading the paper and playing online.

I was getting ready to read the book review section when my fella started talking.

He started talking about this fender guitar that he had when he was a young pumpkindoodle and the amp that he loved.  I looked up.  Put the paper down.  And put on my “I am listening” face.  The problem is…it was a lie.

When he starts talking about this…I start to drift…

I can’t help it.

Cuz I KNOW…

He will soon be talking about tubes.

Amp tubes.

And last night was no exception.  Within a heartbeat…I heard him say “the tubes were from the 60’s and they had such an amazing…..”

That’s all I heard…

Cuz I noticed that his chair was pulling on the curtains.  He had pushed the chair back and the leg was on the curtain…pulling it down.  I could tell, because the curtain rod was dipping down.

“…I should have bought more of those tubes on ebay when….”

And then I noticed that the hanging candle holder was crooked.  I must have brushed against it when I was dusting yesterday.

“…the fender sounded so amazing with that old amp…”

And then I noticed that the picture above the entertainment system was tilted.  NOT OK.  AT ALL.

In the middle of his sharing these thoughts, I got up…straightened the pictures, straightened the candle holder and asked him to move his chair off the curtain.

“Wait! You haven’t even been listening!!!”  My fella said with shock in his voice.

“I am sorry.  I started to drift.”  I said…feeling like a total jerk.  (In my defense…I had heard this a gazillion times and I KNEW what he was gonna say!!!!)

He looked at me with his cute but hurt face:  “I thought you were supposed to be a good listener!!!”

Oh SNAP!!!!

He was right.  But, I was not gonna go down without a fight.

Why is that???  I wondered.  Then, my mind drifted down that rabbit hole.

All the while he was dronning on and on…oops.  I mean he was telling me about my sucky listening skills during his diatribe…oops.  I mean…conversation about tubes.  The funny thing was I still wasn’t listening.  Because now I was wondering about my defensiveness around not listening.

Finally, my brain was able to focus on what he was saying.

“Sorry” I said.  “I was being a shitty listener.  It is just kind of hard for me to stay focused when you talk about amp tubes.  I try.  Well, no don’t.  Sorry.”

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

Then, he shifted gears and began again.  “What do you think of the new fret board on the PRS?”

I picked up the paper and continued to read….