photo credit: Shootingsnow

I recently received an email from a fabulous reader of this blog.  She was wondering what was goin on?  How come I stopped writing?  Was I going to blog again? She had mentioned my blog to a bunch of her friends only to realize that I had stopped writing.  Ooops.  Sorry bout that!

So, I will attempt to fill you all in and then (I am hoping) that this will magically free me up to start writing again.  Here’s to hoping….cheers

My last blog post was September 17th…that was when the organ came to live with my fella and I.  Remember that?  Well, the organ found a way into the house and has been enjoying a well played existence ever since.

The blog post prior to that talked about my mom.  And as those of you who have dealt with this sort of thing in your own life know…demented parents become more demented.  Things have not gotten better for her…nor for the rest of us.  We have found her a lovely woman to come by a few times a week to care for her and that is a relief on many levels.  But, this is not enough.  She will be heading to a nursing home soon.  Unless, she decides to head out of here before then.  Which I hope she does.  I realize that I have no say in this part of things.  Her life and her death are her journey.

During these last couple of months, while my mom has been drifting in between the worlds, I have had many moments of deep healing.  Between her moments of nastiness, there have been moments of forgiveness.  During moments of bone deep exhaustion, there have been moments of sweet peace.  After a day of 20 calls, I say something that makes her laugh…out loud.  And the tension shifts.  After days of holding her hand while she trembles in fear, she sees an old dead loved one walking through the house and sighs into some hopefulness.

I have been living with in some very intense contrast. (more…)