Okay…so the end of the world is near and none of us are going to heaven with any toys…or houses…or health care.  And this presidential race is scaring the hell out of me…and my health insurance may not pay for my surgery.  Which means…we may have to file for bankruptcy.  But besides all that….something very strange is happening.

No one else can see this.

But I can.

Wanna me tell ya?

Ya sure?

Here it goes.

Since my surgery (yes, the one that might put us in financial ruins!), I have noticed some interesting changes in my body.  Besides my butt being bigger than I remember it…and I don’t have a period anymore (all I can say is “Thankya Jesussssss!”)…my boobs have gotten bigger.

Yep.

My

boobs

have

gotten

BIGGER!!!!

at least in my mind….

I noticed this enormous change recently when I was walking down the hall and I felt something brush up against my arm.

“What the hell was that?”  I exclaimed

As I looked down, I saw that my boobs were the culprit.  Now, for those of you who are buxom babes…you already know that your arms brush against your boobs…they do it all the time!  But, for those of us who can still wear tank tops without bouncing… this is a shock. I checked myself out in the mirror.  Wow!  They are way bigger!

So that night, I proudly pranced around my fella…feeling all frisky and buxom. NOTHIN!  He didn’t notice a thing! Not a damned thing!

I mentioned this enormous transformation to some of my girlfriends…standing nice and tall…pointing proudly…”see what I mean???”  They just politely smiled and went on to another topic.

I decided to prove my point by measuring my bust.  The last time I was measured, which was about 6 months ago…I was barely able to fit into an A cup.  Maybe an A-?

As I wrapped the tap measure around me…I looked at the number.

Hmmmmm…that can’t be right.

Maybe if I put on a sweater?

I looked at the number again.

It was the same as it had always been.

A-

I was rootin’ for an A!

I rolled up the tap measure…feeling a mixture of emotions.  Part of me was bummed.  For one thing, an A sounds so much better than an A-and for another thing, it would have been really fun to wear real bra’s…you know…the ones with lace and stuff.  They don’t make the fancy ones for little babes like me!

But on the other hand, part of me was relieved cuz what would make my boobs grow in the first place?  Is it two big tumors?  Is it some hormonal uprising?  What could cause this at my age?  I was even close to looking this up on the internet…which would have been even more fuel for my vivid imagination!

Ah well, whaddya gonna do? I moved on to something else…like the fact that all of a sudden we have a bunch of spiders hangin out in our house…what is that all about?

Later that day, my son walked in and looked at me.

“Hey mom your posture has gotten so much better since your surgery.  You look nice and tall!”

“Thanks!”  I said

I took a look at my reflection in the mirror.  He was right.  I was standing nice and tall.  Who knew that all of that pain had made me so droopy??? I soon became aware of the fact that standing tall, changed my relationship to my boobs…they were right there!  Ah….that’s what was goin’ on!

So, even though the end of the world is near and none of us are going to heaven with any toys…or houses…or health care….And this presidential race is scaring the hell out of me…and my health insurance may not pay for my surgery.  Which means…we may have to file for bankruptcy….

… besides all that… my posture is great…I am standing taller and feeling better than I have in many years. And to top all of that off…I can still wear a tank top!!!!

Not too shabby:)