Ah procrastination!

One of the most hilarious lines I have heard is:  "Why do today what I can put off until tomorrow!"

In fact, I whip that line out once in awhile for myself~

So, what is behind procrastination?  What stands in front of our ability to get those things done…those things we say we want to do?  Who’s voice is it that says "Nah, you need to clean the toilet before you write that article…or go to the gym…or paint that painting!"?

When I sit in procrastination, I start telling my self all sorts of lovely things like:
"You are just being lazy!"
"You have no will power!"
"What the hell is wrong with you…just get off your ass and finish it!"

Who’s voice is this?

Well, folks…it ain’t just one persons voice…its my mom’s and a particular nun from grade school. 

And when these voices start to speak…I tend to do one of two things: I either start rebelling..my personal favorite, or I shut down…not so fun!  At least when I rebel, there is a feeling of action…a feeling that energy is moving.  When I shut down, I stop completely.

Now. I must say that this blog on procrastination has taken me two days to write, because of procrastination….hmmmmmmmmmmm wonder if I am sitting in something.   Nah!!!!!!

As I work with many different types of people from all over the world…procrastination shows up…no matter what!  And I gotta tell ya…none of these folks are lazy.  Not a one. 
They are motivated, inspired people who want to feel good, healthy and free. 

So…what the hell is procrastination all about?

I think behind ALL procrastination is some sort of limiting belief.  Some voice saying something nasty. Our internal critic some how yankin’ our chain!!!

So what do we do with these voices?

I believe that annihilation is the only choice!

Clearing out that voice that tells us that something we want, is to be feared!  This voice gives us the feeling that we have the foot on the gas and the foot on the break! 

The voice:  "Yes I want that!"
The opposing voice: "Uh….no I don’t!!"

The voice:  "This will be so good for me!"
The opposing voice:  "Uh..nope…there is too much at stake here!"

The voice: "If I go for this I will be free!"
The opposing voice:  "NO!  If you go for this you will loose your identity!"

Ah, so much internal conflict!

So, how do we move past this internal conflict in the guise of procrastination?

The first step…is ALWAYS to notice. 
Noticing what you are telling yourself is key.  Noticing who’s voice is behind the critic can also be helpful.  It not only gives you someone to blame (and that always feels better than despair!)…it also gives you a way to dialog with this voice.  Challenging your thinking is a great way to shift this.

So…here are some questions to ask yourself:
*These questions come from Byran Katie : The Work

!.  Is it true? (yes or no)
2.  Can I absolutely know that its true? (yes or no)
3.  How do I react when I think this thought?
4.  Who would I be without this thought?

These questions will support you in pokin’ some holes in your thinking…which will give you a chance to think something else.  Maybe you can even create a new story that supports who you want to be….actually, a story that supports who you really are!!!! 

Limiting beliefs are mostly lies.  Its time to recognize these lies!  Its time to tell a new story!

Procrastination shines a light on lots of inner conflict….much of the time the conflict is between who we have been told we are vs. who we really are!

So, dear readers…who are ya really?
If you took away some of those limiting beliefs…what would be possible?
If you were unable to even think those limiting beliefs what would you be, do and have?

I welcome your comments!

Well, Ladies and Gents…this IS gonna Rune your day for sure. 
This is a tricky Rune and one with great insight. 
SO, take a deep breath or a shot of tequila and lets take a gander on the dark side….

CONSTRAINT
NECESSITY
PAIN

"The necessity of learning to deal with severe constraint is the lesson of Nauthiz.  This Rune represents the obstacles we create for ourselves as well as those we encounter in the world around us.  Both can be equally difficult to handle.

The role of Nauthiz is to identify our shadow, our dark or repressed side, places where growth has been stunted, resulting in weaknesses that are often projected onto others. DON’T TAKE THIS WORLD PERSONALLY.  Rune is saying:  work with the shadow, examine what it is in your nature that attracts hardship or misfortune in your life.  When at last you can look upon the Rune of Constraint with a smile, you will recognize the troubles, denials and setbacks of life as your teachers, guides and allies.

This is a time to pay off old debts, to restore, if not harmony, at least balance.  So mend, restore, redress:  When fisherman can’t go to sea they repair nets.  Let the constraints of the time serve you in righting your relationship to your Self.  Be mindful that rectification must come before progress.  And as always, consider the uses of adversity."

Well….thats not all.  This rune was pulled in reverse…so, take another breath…and here we go!

Reversed
"As part of the Cycle of Initiation, Nauthiz is the great teacher disguised as the bringer of pain and limitation.  It has been said that only at the moment of greatest darkness do we become aware of the light within and come to recognize the true creative power of the self.

Thus you are required to undergo the dark side of your passage and bring it into the light.  Controlling your anger, restraining your impulses, keeping your faith firm–all this is at issue here.  Modesty and good temper are essential at such a challenging time."

You still with me?
Barely?  Thats OK..this can be a challenging Rune for folks. 

When I pulled the Rune and read the text, I thought…wow, this is so up for me and up for many of my clients and friends.

Here is how it has been playing out in my little life lately!  I was cruzin right along, feeling healthy…building up my strength… feeling so good about how much I had been healing.  Feeling really confident, getting things done, movin’ and a shakin’…and maybe, just maybe, feeling a little cocky… then out of the blue, BAM…last week I started hurting again.

So, I spent a day or so, in full compassion…saying things like:
"It’s OK this will pass, it always does." 
or
"Stay with this Lynne, your body is wise and knows what its doing."
or
"Your body is working very hard, lets just rest and take it easy."

Blah
Blah
Blah

By day three of pretty severe pain….I stopped talking to friends, canceled clients and withdrew into movie land. 

Oh, and during the first few days, I was totally lying about how I was feeling to myself, my fella and friends:

"Oh, its not as bad as it used to be…I am sure I will feel better tomorrow!"

Meanwhile…the pain was so bad that I was sweating and the hair on my arms was standing up!  Way to be a lying sack of potatoes!  Talk about denial!

My compassion for myself left the building.

My thoughts went more like this: 
"Lynne, you totally suck!  All this inner work you have been doing…what a load of crap!" 
"Your not healing…you will never get better!"

Then, I started yelling at the Universe: 
"Stupid universe…what the hell are you doing out there? You totally suck"

Then I started yelling at my non-physical friends:
"Hey guides and angels…what the hell are you guys doing?  Get off your butts and help me out here! I mean COME ON!!!!!"

After I exhausted myself with my mini temper tantrum, I decided to stop yelling at the universe (though that did feel pretty good for a bit!).  I took a bunch of slow, deep breaths…did a ton of tapping and settled down. 

My shadow around this is that when I am in pain for too many days in a row, I start judging myself very ruthlessly.  I completely forget that I am worthy…just cuz.  I tend to attach worthiness to my ability to perform my job, my chores, my writing, my whatever…connecting it to what I DO…rather than who I BE. 

Its like, once I start hurting, I get this strange sort of amnesia…I forget that I am lovable, and fabulous and hilarious…and compassionate and WORTHY!  And worst of all, I stop being in love with ME.  I treat myself terrible…I would never treat anyone as badly as I treat myself!

Sometimes I can connect with the light and with wisdom.  Other times, not so much!  This health blip really shoves me up against the wall and beats the shit out of me….until I come back to myself. Once I come back to me,  I may be in pain…but, I am feeling kindness and love towards myself.  Not always easy to reach this place.  I still have many conditions that I impose on myself that determine whether I am worth self love or not!  Pretty damned brutal indeed!

How about you?
Where in your inner world, are you denying your shadow? 
What is in your nature that attracts hardship?
What have you disowned within yourself, that is wreaking havoc in your life?

This is an optimal time to visit these places and do some healing work on them~

Bye for now!

This weekend, my fella and I watched the movie "Wyatt Earp".  I had no idea how long this movie was gonna last…or I would have never watched it.  It lasted about 4 billion hours. 

The movie was a traditional sorta shoot em up, ‘we are dudes and bad ass’ kinda cowboy movie. The writers did explore some interesting women, though they were always in the role of supporting the men. I did enjoy the sets and the beautiful costumes!

The character, Wyatt Earp became one of the Marshall’s in Dodge City…which was a very rough place to hang out in!  I realize that this character was seen as a heroic figure. Him and his men curbed much of the violence that was happening…for a brief time. I think the women were way more heroic then he was…though that is a different blog!

To me this movie depicted Wyatt as a shut down, emotionally fragile fella who was a bit trigger happy and shot people when "theys wouldn’t folla the law!" Most of the time he was very black and white in his thinkin’. "Yous not to carry weapons in this town!"  If the dude refused to give up his gun….BAM he was shot!  Never give a fragile fella a gun…thats my motto!

One thing that he said stayed with me though.

He said that some folks were deliberate and some folks were affable.  Now the deliberate dudes, like Wyatt, just shot people immediately without "wastin’ time on talkin!’" They were not real liked by them towns folks!  Whereas the affable dudes talked and got along well with people. Almost every one of these guys was killed by the end of the movie. 

Well this got me thinkin!

(Sorry I can’t stop writin’ without a southern cowboy sorta drawl!!!)

Anyways, as I was sayin’…this got me thinkin’…I know many folks who are very deliberate and many who are affable.  Some are a mix of both.  Now, the folks I know that are deliberate…really do shoot first and ask questions later.  They decide on things and go for it.  When they want something…they focus and make it happen!  Anybody who gets in their way of what they want…better watch out! They get mad at folks and let it rip. 

As for the affable folks, they tend to have better people skills, finding a common ground is very important to them and they are more interested in the relationship with others, then gettin’ their way.  As you probably can tell…I am definitely more on affable side. 

So, if I had been in this movie I would be dead!  Friendly, well liked…but, dead!!!! 

So, what I’m thinkin’ here is this…don’t we want to be a bit of both?  I mean, even on a political scale…isn’t Bushy boy just shootin at the hips…being deliberate…"Yous guys either with me or yous guys are against me!"  Not affable at all!  Actually, the man has no skill as a statesman whatsoever! 

In this culture we really think deliberate is heroic.  Shoot now and talk later!  Or go for the big bucks…doesn’t matter who you plow over to get what you want.  I don’t think this mind set is very heroic at all!  I think we need to be more than that.  I think it is about blending the two…deliberate and affable…along with the addition of many other skills!

I realize that at this point in my life, I am definitely working to learn how to be more deliberate.  I like the idea of being a focused creator…though I am not very interested in mowin folks down to get my way.  My mind just doesn’t work that way.  For me, it is about becoming more deliberate in my actions…when I have an idea, I tend to over think things and then I sorta run out of steam.  My intention is to spend less time thinking over and over again about an idea and take more swift, clear action.  As for being affable…that comes naturally to me.  That will be there no matter what I do!

So, how about you? 
What is your tendency…do you lean towards deliberate or towards affable?
If you were to consider strengthening the less dominate of the two…how would you go about that?
When you move through the world, what actions do you perceive as heroic? 
Do you ever see yourself as heroic?  If so, what occurred to make you feel this way?

I would love to hear your thoughts about this.

Have a fabulously deliberate and affable day!

Greetings lovely readers!
For this week two tarot cards came flying out of the deck while I was shuffling them…so, here we go!

This weeks cards are chosen from Doreen Virtue’s Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards.

Message From Vesta:  "There’s an undying flame within your soul, and it’s the light, seed, and spark of your consciousness.  Your outer world reflects your inner world.  Take a look around your home.  Does it reflect warmth?  If not, this is easily remedied and oh-so-important to do. 

About Vesta (pronounced VEST-uh): "Vesta is the Roman goddess of home and hearth.  Vesta is a fire goddess who brings warmth to households, both as a temperature and as an emotion. In ancient Rome, a temple in her honor bore a flame that burned continually.  Call upon Vest to oversee any changes you’d like to make in your living situation."

Now for the second card:

OONAGH

Easy Does it:  "There is no need to hurry or force things to happen.  Everything is occurring in perfect timing."

Message From Oonagh: "Nurturing a cause or a relationship is a long term commitment, and on that can’t be rushed.  This level of devotion comes from a place of deep loving and concern.  I care what happens to my planet and to my loved ones so much that I’m willing to stick with them through thick and thin.  This isn’t always easy, but to me, it’s the only way to ensure that matters are resolved and healed. 

I listen to the passionate stirrings of my heart. 
I reach out and take action to let my loved ones know that I deeply care about them. 
I take action to spur on my pet causes. 

Never mind what other people think; you will benefit by carrying through with your priorities.  You’ll feel so good about yourself if you make time for the relationships and projects that truly count in your heart.  DO what’s important to you, and do it with absolute devotion!  But remember that there’s no competition for your true life’s passions, so there’s no need to worry, hurry, or feel that you have to force things to happen."

Various Meanings of This Card:  Don’t worry about your passions or your goals * Make no sudden moves * Slow, steady progress is best right now * Ease into your new life instead of rushing into it * Do your new work as a part time venture to begin with, while slowly exiting your old career

About Oonagh (pronounced OO-nuh):  "The Celtic goddess Oonagh is married to Fionnbharr, the leader of the Irish Tuatha De’ Danaana.  Oonagh and her clan were some of the original inhabitants of Ireland.  When the Gaels invaded their land, the Tuathas didn’t run or fight back.  Instead, they transformed themselves into leprechauns.  Their ingenious solution allowed them to stay in Ireland in peace.  Call upon Oonagh for help with your own transitions, and she’ll guide you in creative and magical ways."

I think that these are interesting cards…especially because they came flying out of my deck at the same time.  Both of these cards speak about "transition," each from a different perspective. 

Here are some questions to ponder:

• Take some time and look around your "outer world."  Look at your rooms, closets, drawers, your car (etc)
• Do these spaces reflect how you feel internally? 
• Do these spaces reflect how you WANT to feel internally?

If you find areas that are not in alignment with you, make a plan to make some adjustments.  Remember this plan does not need to be a HYPER SPAZZO plan.  It can be a nice and gentle step-by-baby-step plan.  Maybe on one day, you choose to clean out that drawer that has been driving you nuts.  The next day, you clean out your car…and maybe a couple of days later, you put out the candles that you bought last year but, never used them.

Remember that there is "no need to hurry or force things to happen.  Everything is occurring in perfect timing!"

A few more questions to ponder:

• Are there relationships in your life that you are spending time in that no longer support you?
• Are there relationships in your life that you want to devote more attention to?
• Are there relationships in your life that are sitting in some "thick and thin?" that you want re-commit to?  What kinds of nurturing could you offer these relationships?

As always, I would love to hear from you~

Have a groovy day~

I was commenting on a comment from yesterday’s post and I decided to blog about the memory…because it is very funny…at least it is now!!!

Many years ago…in a land far, far away (Santa Barbara, CA) my friend Jana and I decided to take our brand new infant sons out shopping.   So off we went, diaper bags, baby seats, and a ton of other crap!  I got all dressed up in a pretty white dress and she was looking fabulous in a flower print dress. 

This was the first time that we had braved being out in the fancy stores with our boys.  Our boys were around 3 months old. 

Now, my friend Jana didn’t know that this was one of the first times that I had ever braved these sorts of stores.  I was 22 years old, and a Dead head…who tended towards clothing trades and the free box at our laundry mat.

So, this was WAY WAY WAY out of my comfort zone!

We decided to go into a beautiful boutique.  The presentation of clothing was gorgeous and VERY expensive.  Jana went off to try on clothes and I sat with the babies…feeling…oh, I dunno…very weird and out of place.  Jana found a shirt that would fit over her enormous boobs, which had quadrupled during her pregnancy!  I think the shirt cost a zillion dollars.

As we stood  at the register and Jana paid…I noticed that one of the women who worked in the store was giving me a dirty look.  Almost a scowl. 

I thought to myself:  "Oh man, I don’t belong here at all."

As we left the store, I told Jana what had happened.  She was walking sort of behind me and grabbed me by the shoulder and said:

"Oh my god Lynne, look at the back of your dress!"

As I turned, I felt this cold, icky feeling of wet something!

Me: "Oh my god Jana, Ethan barfed down the back of me!"

Jana:  "No wonder that lady was giving you such a dirty look.  Ethan probably barfed all over the hard wood floors!"

This lovely trail of barf had turned the back of my white dress to a sheer translucent disaster…so anyone behind me could see my undies and my super ubber nursing bra.

Jana looked at me horrified:  "I can’t take you anywhere!"
Me:  "Lets just go back home and call it a day!"

To this day, I still feel uncomfortable and self conscious in these sorts of upscale stores…hmmmmm maybe I need to do some tapping:

"Even though, I feel totally self conscious in upscale stores, I am afraid someone is gonna barf on me, or I am gonna have something else humiliating happen…I accept myself anyway!"

Tap
Tap
Tap

IF you feel like sharing some of your humiliations…we would all LOVE to hear them!!!