It has been a very long time since I have posted a blog.  Yikes!  Many things have changed since my last post.  I have decided to update you in the form of a list.  Some of these changes are sad, some are a relief, some are exciting, some are freeing, some are head scratchers….as usual though…there is always a lot of contrast!

In no particular order….

  • My  mom died a year ago last August. She died peacefully…though the years up to that were pretty damned intense….for her and for all of us.
  • My business is doing awesome.  I have the honor of working with so many amazing people~~ Love Love Love my work!
  • Our dog Elly died on the same day that my son Ethan graduated with his Masters in Mathematics.
  • My son Ethan graduated with his Masters in Mathematics.  What an amazing accomplishment!! :)
  • Even though our dog was crazy and quite the handful, we miss her friendship and her unconditional love.  We all learned so much from her.  I miss her everyday!
  • My brother and sister in law embezzled my inheritance from me, my fella and my sons.  They are no longer a part of our lives.
  • I took up beading (thanks to my friend Kerry and my friend Tara).  Now, I am absolutely hooked on it and am planning to open a little etsy store soon.  Wait until you see what I am making!!!! Awesome jewelry :)
  • Since I did not receive the inheritance that we were depending on, my fella and I are selling our home and moving to a new place….in a new state.  We are very excited about starting a new adventure.  This will happen spring 2014~  What do you call that?  Something like ‘turning lemons into lemonade’  😉 
  • My son Corey continues to write and has figured out some cool and unique ways to make money on line.  Today he is hanging out in Oahu….in a cave….that overlooks the ocean….writing.  tomorrow….who knows where he will be :)
  • I have gone through a lot due to betrayal of my brother.  Interestingly, since this happened to us….I have heard of so many other people who experienced this as well.  Mainly women.
  • My inner magical thinker has been really shaken up.  I am still a magical thinker….and I am also more able to call a spade a spade.  Hasn’t been easy though.
  • I still have IC
  • I want that to change and the little sucker refuses to bend to my will!!!
  • I am doing Caroline Myss’ Archetype ( Sacred Contracts) training.  I love the information that I am learning.  Very cool stuff.

Well, I think that about sums it up-ish.  I do want to get back to writing though.  I miss writing and I have lots of cool ideas for topics to chat about.  Till next time….

Have a lovely day!

As some of you know, my mother has advanced Alzheimer’s.  She has lived in a nursing home for over a year now.  I thought that she would have headed on out by now…but she is alive and continues to be alive.  At this point, I think she is going to live forever, in this strange dream of a place that she resides in.

My interaction with her has changed pretty dramatically over the last handful of months.  Rather than edgy and mean or having intense scary hallucinations, she has been more child like….and sweet.  I can imagine her as a young girl now…before she became the angry adult she turned into…and I can see this sweet, fun kid who was curious  and mischievous.  She has become surprisingly delightful.  I have conversations with her that feel warm and fuzzy.  What a surprise!  And what a gift~

I am not saying that every interaction with her is fun….much of the time it is pretty strange and sometimes it still has pretty sharp edges…but, I love that she has this young part of herself that I get to connect with.  I wrap it around me like a cozy blanket.  And when the conversations get sharp or freaky….I remember this other aspect of her and I feel a little less conflicted.

There are so many challenges for those of us dealing with this.  Alzheimer’s is a marathon.  A very long marathon.  We need to make sure that we hydrate.  That we have good running shoes and comfortable clothes on.  We need our people standing along the road and maybe even running along side of us…supporting us.  Reminding us that we are okay…that everything is okay.

I have many clients who are in the middle of all of this.  It is messy.  It is exhausting.  It is sad.  It is sometimes charming and sweet.  I hope you have good support, a good sense of humor and lots of little ways that you can give yourself self care~  Your not in this alone…there are many of us out here~

That’s it for now.

Have a lovely rest of your day~~~

Since I haven’t written a blog post in a bazillion years….I was going to give you a quick update.  I wrote for a while about this and that.

And I just deleted it.

Then I was going to share some fun little experiences that I have had lately…just to make you smile :) I wrote for a bit…

And I just deleted that too.

Now what?

I am not sure how to come back to blogging.  I have lots of great stuff to chat about.  I have some cool tools to share.  I have some interesting thoughts about some interesting things.

I want to show up like an old friend that you haven’t talked to in a long time…and it feels like no time has passed. But instead,  I feel a little bit more awkward than that.  So, awkward in fact…that it took me about 20 minutes to figure out how to log in to my blog!  Instead of feeling comfy umfy…I feel squirmy…distracted… and frustrated that I feel so squirmy and distracted.   So, here I am feeling awkward and totally NOT in the grove.  I feel a sense of the groove…but, it is kind of over there a bit…rather than right here at my finger tips.  The groove has been hangin out over there for awhile. I have been waiting for it to come closer…and hence (yes! I said hence)…the months have passed by.  

I am attempting to jump start this groove. I am attempting to align with that comfy, grove kind of place when writing felt fun, creative and expressive.  But, maybe that is too much…too fast.  I can feel the energy start to rise up…and then it goes back to its spot.  Right over there. 

What I do know is that I enjoy writing.  I have lots of good stuff to share.  I enjoy being in the groove.  I love when I write something funny.  I love the co-creative nature of this medium.  And I love that I can do this in whatever way I want to…total creative freedom.  My kind of gig.

I want to approach this differently then I initially thought.  I thought that if I could just start to write…I would get back into the flow and brilliance would be right there at my finger tips.   Well… I guess that was a wee bit of  magical thinking.  I think that I need more of a warm up.  Keep the awareness of what is enjoyable about this process while honoring that it is feeling hard and awkward…and do it anyway.  Gulp!

Yes folks!  We have another paradox!  I keep running into them 😉

I can feel that my energy is starting to dwindle.  So, I am going to go have some lunch.  Peanut butter and Jam always makes this sort of thing feel better!

Until next time… something to ponder if you feel inspired:  Is there a place in your life where you feel the desire to move towards something…and the awareness of how hard it is to get into the groove of the doing of that something?  Want to join me in this awkward kind of dance?

From one awkward human to you :)  Have a good rest of your day~~




Tiger Swallowtail
Creative Commons License photo credit: wheeldog


I am back.


Where have I been?

Well, I have been traveling all over the world.  From England to Scotland to Ireland to Austria to Germany to Australia to New Zealand. I traveled through out Canada and all through out the US.


I am exhausted.

Actually, I am lying like a sack of potatoes.

I wish this were true.

But, alas…it isn’t.

I have had some major writers block.


I continue to journal.  I continue to do my morning meditations.  I am even working out again.

But writing a blog?

It just hasn’t been happening. (more…)

After landing in a wee bit of ‘droopy drawers’ over the whole “my mom has lost her mind” situation…I am so in awe of the other side of this energy.  That place where things are in a fantastic hum of alignment.  Where the energy is just right and all is light and bright and fun and cool.

Like when I drove into town and all the lights turned green and I cruised right on through.  To make this even more cool was the music that I had playing…it just fit so nicely…a groovy little hum.

Then there was this fabulous check that showed up in the mail from a client…she said it was a tip for all of the wonderful work we are doing together.  How cool is that???  What a fun surprise!!!

Then there were the cozy clean sheets waiting for me when I jumped into bed last night.  My fella and I jumped into bed…it was so cold outside and we were so cozy inside.   Dontcha just love that????

And then this morning, my fella was playing his guitar and our dog was howling along with him.  And there was the moment when I joined her in howling.  (more…)

After hanging up the phone last night, I let out a deep exhale.

Note to self…keep breathing when you are on the phone with her!

I had been holding my breath for the last handful of minutes towards the end of the call while she was crying and begging me to come out and help her.  I told that I would be there soon.  Soon in her world is an ever changing thing. Soon in my world means about 3 weeks.  But, who knows if she will even be here by then.  Part of me hopes she will be gone, part of me wants to see her one last time.

My intuitive sense says she will be here for a bit longer…but who knows. (more…)


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